What Happened, Jenna?

RainbowTime's picture

Me & Jenna were very close, and now we just seem distant we've been though so much together and now were distant, we've ever since she was a baby i was closest to her, much much closer than anyone else.

her First word was Sis, Second was Rainy. Rainy was a old Nickname her first ever words were about me, how cute's that, when we got older she was about 5 started being able to put proper sentences together an play competitively, we grew closer we played we talked, one night when she was six, a burgler broke into the house during a thunderstorm and mum hit him outside the head, he should have got a medal for surviving, so every thunderstorm up in till lately she would be terrified and cry & cuddle into me and hug me, its a special feeling being hugged by someone you love.

remember back when you where 8 and 3 potatoes hit your window, you got a fright and ran straight to my room for a hug and comfort and you slept in my room out of fear.

i took her & raised her as my own and still do, she was the good one the one that had a future, the one with a chance. i don't she does, she does.

she was scared when i wasn't around, terrified even, but when i was around she was never afraid she knew i would protect her, she never got any attention from mum or dad that was a good thing, she never got hit, never had a beer bottle thrown at her, she was lucky.

when i came out of the closet and started dating AJ but before we got kicked out, i knew Jenna was jealous of AJ getting attention, i gave Jenna all the time i could i still played with her she was still very important to me.

she was so innocent back then with questions like "whats a lesbian?", "girls can go out with girls now?" & "what were you doing in bed naked with Alycia last night?" register as some of her most innocent in quarries and toughest to answer.

when we were all kicked out & disowned i think i was more scared than she was, i knew mum was still out there, i knew it would be hard to survive again, i knew it would be very difficult i think Jenna was just confused. i worried when social services got involved i was nearly finished school and got more options but Jenna could have been taken away i could have lost my sister forever, but i still thank Matt for not allowing it he was 19 and legally old enough to be a foster parent.

the next year was hard & tough, but on a lucky side the only good person on my mums side was back my uncle was wounded in Afghanistan and came back (not seriously wounded) and gave us his house, he wouldn't need it anymore he said, later Racheal & Rosie moved in, Matt came with us.

a couple years later, Jenna come out of the Closet, Matt Moved out, Jenna got her first girlfriend, her first nephew & niece & many things to come.

but i ask you what happened to us?

Comments

radiosilence95's picture

She's getting older. That's

She's getting older. That's what's happening. I'm sure she's beginning the process of figuring out who she is and what will make her happy, as I began that journey when I was around her age. Unfortunately that process includes becoming distant from those around her, isolating herself and all that good stuff.

My sister is the same age as yours, and from older sis to older sis, giving them space is the best thing you can do. Suffocating her and constantly hovering over her won't help anything. Let her grow up, let her be a brat when she needs to, let her be distant from you if that's what she wants. Trust me, you'll be close again. This is just a phase. The only thing you can do is give her the space she needs and be there when she chooses to come to you.

lonewolf678's picture

Seconded.

I couldn't have said it better myself.

RainbowTime's picture

im

just afraid of losing her forever :'( ya know?

i seen this coming i started giving her more and more space, now she doesn't even want to talk at all

i only drink irn bru and the occassional blood of my enemies

radiosilence95's picture

It's all to be expected.

It's all to be expected. Plus, from what I've read, you're sort of her mother figure now since your real mother is not in the picture, no? So that makes you the perfect person she can take this preteen angst out on. Patience is important.

Does she have friends she can trust and turn to for comfort? The only thing that should really cause you worry is if she has no friends or isn't a part of any relationships with people.

RainbowTime's picture

well

ive really raised her myself so i guess i would be her mother figure & a father figure if that's possible to be both

my mother isn't in the picture and never will be again

yeah, she does have friends

thanks for understanding

i only drink irn bru and the occasional blood of my enemies