Dreams.

lonewolf678's picture

So yeah a few days ago I dreamt that somehow I was a leader of The Nation of Islam. Pretty confusing but I did happen to watch a special on Malcolm X that day. I found it a bit amusing and had a slight wonder if it meant anything. But soon after a small dissection of the dream meaning was nowhere to be found in it.

Then last night. I know why I did dream it and it was not so traumatic when my subconcious actually conjured it. A week ago I happened to leave an "article" of mine (absent mindedly) in the laudry room / rear entrance of the house. Praise be to Allah she doesn't go through there often. The said article had been there for three days. THREE FULL DAYS.

I instantly felt ashamed and embarrassed that I had left such a thing almost out in the open. Then I wondered if my mother had seen it. But usually she would confront me about such a thing. Or maybe she didn't want to say anything. So here I am a week later and she hasn't said anything so I suppose she didn't see it.

That was a contributing factor to my dream. Even though I wasn't caught, I now dreamt it. So we come back to last night. I dreamt that for some reason I was leaving the living room to go upstairs. I was alone in the house but when should I see a numerous amount of these "articles" on the mantle near the door to the stairwell. I immediately picked them up.

I blinked and there were suddenly more of them on the mantle. I tried to gather all of these ever growing number of articles. I then heard the turning of keys and the opening of the front door. When who should come in but my Mother seeing me with my arms full of these articles. I felt so helpless and embarrassed.

And what happened next really surprised me. She said it was ok that I had these things. I was taken aback. She just asked me to take them back to my room. It seemed the articles came back to their original number and fit neatly in my arms. Then I woke up covered in cold sweat. I didn't know what to feel. I stayed up for an hour laying in bed replaying the dream.

I know there really is nothing wrong with these things. But it's something so personal and not something I would be willing to admit to (at least for a few years). I feel better than when I did early this morning when I'd woken from that.

Comments

Yamamoto's picture

What do you mean by a

What do you mean by a 'article' of yours lonewolf? :S

lonewolf678's picture

Well,

I feel that the article should be left to a mystery. Sorry to leave it that way but I'm not ready to own up to that even on the net. But it's definately a taboo thing. And maybe from what the dream showed me is that maybe I shouldn't be too freaked out by being discovered. In a way I'm in a closet.

I've already left one closet and now there's another one that I don't know whether to stay or come out of. Not that it's a really pressing matter but it's more of a personal choice than when I came out as a gay man.

Just for a note to everyone here, I'm not trying to be mysterious or anything. I'm not a tortured soul or whatever. This is just a bump in the road nothing at all serious.

Yamamoto's picture

Alright well if you ever

Alright well if you ever want to talk about it in PMs or somthing I am here for you. :) You know we are bros right?

lonewolf678's picture

Yeah,

maybe we could talk on it someday.

anarchist's picture

I had a similar dream once.

My family somehow found out that I'm gay and they were just fine with it. That wasn't a realistic dream because I know my mother would hate me.