Just Dave's picture

Okay, Hair, listen. I know that it's humid. I don't need your constant reminder. For fucks' sake, calm down already.

Beard: If you are going to grow in, you've got to grow in everywhere. None of this "Dave will have a goatee" bullshit. I don't want a goatee.

To be honest, Complexion, I didn't really expect more out of you. You've always been a little zitty, but at least you've calmed down a little.

Skin: During the summer you are golden brown, and it's great. During the winter, you are a jaundiced yellow color. It is less great.

I love you Eyes. But then again, I have low standards.

I don't even want to know what's going on with you, Bone Structure. I'm just gonna focus on everything else and hope nobody notices you.



MacAvity's picture

What exactly are you 'learning'?

...Somehow this description makes me think you look like my neighbor's boyfriend - and he's cute. Not the impression you were trying to generate, I'm sure, but there it is.

Just Dave's picture


When you are really vain, you learn all the ways you are different from the ideal. Its really stupid, because nobody is the ideal, and the ideal is different for everybody. I'm not really learning anything of value, in other words.

I'm not really sure what impression I was going for. I was kinda just talking to myself.