Hey guys :D I was bored, so I decided to come back and give some updates to how my life is doing, and ask how everyone else is doing.
So first off, hello new people! My journals have become so rare that I should open with that statement on each one >.>
Anyways, back to the topic at hand. A few things that have changed, or other things. Yeah. You get it.
- I think I'm finally comfortable with telling my mom and dad I'm gay. Because frankly, I'm now in that mindset of "fuck it, you know? I'm young, you only live once, so why waste some of the best years of it pretending like I'm going through hell? I'm well off in life, and just because I like guys doesn't change anything about me. I'm not going to try and sit and wallow in a pool of self pity when I could be out with friends and shit"
- My self realization today is that self harm is stupid. I have over 200 scars on my body now (well, have had at one point. The ones on my leg are just too faded to see now...) and I looked at them in the shower and though "What the fuck did I do to myself?". Tomorrow, I plan to get rid of any knives and razors I have, except for one. This way, I think that "oh, I have the freedom to start again, but I'm stronger than that."
- My religion. I know a lot of you are thinking "OH CHRIS HE RAGED AT YAMA FOR BASHING CHRISTIANS AND STUFF HURRHURR" but I don't really think of myself as Christian anymore. Like, I made a triangle. Christianity and Agnosticism on the bottom, and Atheism on the top. I then made a dot where I really thought of myself as, and it was closer to the Agnostic Side more than anything, so that's what I'm identifying with now. But just because I'm not Christian doesn't mean I'm not anti-everything. I'm not going around saying "FUCK GOD HE'S A DICK AND EVERYTHING." Because I'm nicer than that. And I have better reasons to not be religious than to hate christians because they killed my friend. *cough cough*.
- Remember when school started, and my attitude was that I was going to fail every class because I'm just a fucking idiot? I've realized something. That's how every year is for me. The first half is just me going "I HATE LIFE LOL I'M GOING TO SKIP SCHOOL AND JUST STAY HOME AND NOT TRY" but then the second semester is me in the mindset of "Ohhey, I should be trying *tries and gets C+'s at the most*" Although I still fucking hate Biology and Chemistry, but not sleeping in class ACTUALLY HELPS. Go fucking figure.
- I HAVE MY PERMIT LOL. I got it late, and in my state you have to have it for 6 months before you can get your license, so I won't be getting my license until Mid-August. FFS.
- I'm tired.
- I'm going to bed now.
- Bye c: