I came out to my mom yesterday. She's suspected that I've been questioning my identity for awhile, she's just been too scared to say anything to me. She didn't want me to get mad at her for bringing it up. Ultimate irony, because I didn't say anything because I didn't want HER getting mad at ME. So for the past few months it's been the metaphorical elephant in the room.
I told her my feelings the best way I could. She, of course, wanted to me to keep an "open mind" about my sexuality. She said that maybe I'll meet a nice guy and fall in love. I told her I don't think so. She asked me how I know if I haven't really dated anyone. I told her it's just something I feel and know, just as she knew she was straight before she ever dated anyone. She said she just wants me to be happy. She said she's always imagined me with a nice guy and kids, but she'd gladly give up being a grandmother if it means keeping me happy.
She said she worries about my safety. If being out means compromising my safety. I told her no one in school would hurt me, not physically anyway. She suggested I wait until college to be out. I told her I'm not sure I can keep it to myself for an entire year.
She was very understanding. She doesn't see it as a bad thing, I don't think. Just as something that can be a challenge.
I took my ACT today. I think I did really well. The science part probably hurt me a bit, but I'm hopeful.