What is it about baths...

Potter's picture

You know what’s wonderful about this site - everyone assumes you’re gay. Makes a nice change.

I may have said I would only post in the mornings, but I changed my mind. After today, I shall do it in the evenings.

So. I have spent a large portion of the day listening to James Blunt, just to give you an idea of the state I am in… “You’re beautiful… I will never be with you…” and all that shizzle. It’s been huge fun. Bear in mind I usually listen to people like Bellowhead and I’m From Barcelona.

Ironically, AR is in Barcelona at a kind of gay pride thing. Maybe they’ll make her realise her true identity. Anyway, I miss her. Which is crazy because I barely see her at school anyway. (It’s half term by the way.) She just brightens up my day. She’s that pretty. She probably hasn’t spared me one thought over the whole holiday.

I haven’t spoken to LL since I half came out to him; I’m going to see him tomorrow though for band rehearsal. I’m a bit nervous that he’ll say something in reference to it in front of everyone, not realising that I was serious. I don’t mind CC knowing, but the other guys in the band, WH and ES, I’m not really friends with so that could be awkward.

I’ve been thinking (always a bad sign), and I’ve decided that there is a difference between physical and sexual attraction, therein lies the confusion. I am physically attracted to guys, so I fool myself into thinking I like them, but I am not sexually attracted to them. Unless they are really skinny… No not even then… No, I’m not sure. I don’t know. I am definitely attracted in both ways to girls though. Maybe that’s the answer. I’m sure about girls, unsure about guys. It’s probably just because you’re brought up to think you are straight so it’s confusing when you’re not. I just have a major issue with penises. They scare me a bit…

I’m going to take a quick interlude for a bath; they’re always good for thinking…

Bath thoughts –

Shaving one’s lady area really is a fag. Is it really necessary? Does everyone do it? I’ve never really been sure about that one… It’s quite itchy; I’m probably doing it wrong. It’s great that I can say stuff like that, because nobody knows me, so I don’t care! Although saying that, you all actually know me better than anyone. But you don’t associate the knowledge with a real life person, so it’s all good.

Aha, is this the answer? (to the question of whether or not I should bother to come out to my family) This is why I should tell the world I am gay; I enjoy writing this shit to you guys because I’m being honest. It is the only time that I am completely truthful. Whilst I would never be this truthful in real life, I have it in my power to make a big step in that direction. We all put up fronts in our daily lives; we are not ourselves, but the version of ourselves that we want people to see. It is extremely difficult to admit to an aspect of it that we have been lying about. For example, say you come across as someone who is quite mainstream, you hang around with people who like, say, JLS (God forbid) and that watch Eastenders and Coronation Street and go to parties every night. If this is not who you are, and you really just want to listen to Bach, watch David Attenborough documentaries and spend your time playing scrabble with yourself and reading the dictionary, it is very difficult to just tell people this, and become the person you really want to be. (I’m starting to feel quite sorry for this person… Good analogy, don’t you think?). Poor kid has to listen to JLS everyday (we have to listen to… I don’t know, casual homophobia), she has to talk to people about the plot line of Eastenders (we have to talk about… The “guy” we have a crush on), and she has to party (we have to date guys). It doesn’t quite work like that but you get the point…

So to conclude todays bath time epiphany; we should all immediately stop pretending to be who we are not and come out already because then we will be happy and have much less stress on our hands on a daily basis. Easier said than done…

Comments

MacAvity's picture

Don't shave your pubes.

Really, don't. Why would you even do such a thing. Especially if it itches and is uncomfortable and all, which it is. It's not necessary and most people don't do it.

Why does that band have that name if it's not from Barcelona?

Potter's picture

Fair enough. I was just

Fair enough. I was just worrying about it, as one does, and thought, well would I rather a girlfriend had them or not, and the answer was not, so I went for it. I suppose it doesn't really matter though.

I'm not entirely sure, they're all just a bit weird I think... Plus sounds better then I'm From Oslo, or wherever they're from...

we must choose between what is right and what is easy. - J. K. Rowling

stillgotlegs's picture

I don't think it makes a

I don't think it makes a difference.

I have for several years, and I'm still not quite sure why xD It's just got to the point now where I think I look weird with an *ahem* lady garden. And the itching is nothing, reeally. And yup, I could never work out whether others did either, but since I do it for myself, I don't really care that much.

Ooh ooh and Bellowhead are amazing, I'm seeing them in August!
____________________

“Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?”

Potter's picture

I know right? It's really

I know right? It's really impossible to work out, it would be much easier if we went back in time to when no one did... But then we would probably all have been hung for our sins lol.
They are the awesomest. Where are you seeing them?

we must choose between what is right and what is easy. - J. K. Rowling

stillgotlegs's picture

Fairport's Cropredy

Fairport's Cropredy Convention xD
They generally have a pretty good line-up, seen Seth Lakeman there three times along with 3 Daft Monkeys and Levellers. Great festival.

Ever seen them live yourself?
____________________

“Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?”

Potter's picture

That sounds awesome! I

That sounds awesome!
I haven't, I'm gonna try and get someone to go and see them in Brighton in November I think. They look fantabulous live. Unfortunately, all my friends either like funk or crap 'indie rock' stuff. I WANT FOLKY FRIENDS! I do love a bit of funk though...

we must choose between what is right and what is easy. - J. K. Rowling

stillgotlegs's picture

^^ *hides the indie albums*

^^ *hides the indie albums* NOTHING TO SEE HERE
...really, no Passion Pit? No Wave Machines?

I guess I was pretty lucky in the friendship group I got, we went to see smaller folk bands in London pretty regularly. 6 Day Riot were amazing, you should listen to them xD
____________________

“Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?”

Potter's picture

I'll pretend I didn't see

I'll pretend I didn't see that... Although I like wave machines, they're fun. Probably not thinking of the same wave machines though..
I like them. They remind me of Devon Sproule a bit... I'm more into trad stuff though, like Uiscedwr and The Urban Folk Quartet :)

we must choose between what is right and what is easy. - J. K. Rowling

stillgotlegs's picture

Aah, I've seen Urban Folk

Aah, I've seen Urban Folk Quartet live toooo xD
Lunasa are my favourite in that kind of area though. I'll have to look up Uiscedwr, never heard of them.
____________________

“Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?”

Potter's picture

Ah, prepare to have your

Ah, prepare to have your mind blown. I am very jealous of you right now...

we must choose between what is right and what is easy. - J. K. Rowling