Our school district made a million dollar budget cut. At the end of this year, the school newspaper will no longer be running. Which means my excitement of becoming entertainment editor next year has been trampled. Ugh. You have no idea how infuriating this is. They're also cutting World Literature and they won't be replacing my AP English teacher when she retires this year. Of all the things to be cut, it had to be journalism. The ONE extracurricular thing I enjoyed doing in school. Fuck my luck.
It's like the board members looked at each other and said, "What does Jenna love dearly? Let's cut that so we have the pleasure of ripping her heart out."
No cuts in sports. Of course not. Because people would throw a fucking fit if we got rid of a couple of the five assistant coaches we have on every god damn team. Two years of journalism would've looked great on a college application. But it's more than just that. I've only been working on the paper for a year, but there's such a strong sense of family with everyone. Even though we sometimes drive one another crazy, we still stick together and we're all good friends. I'm comfortable around these people in a way that I've never been comfortable around any other school club or group.
It just sucks. I love these guys. We could've accomplished so much next year. I have a class open in my schedule, so I'mma fill it with AP European History. I know too much about American history. It's time to broaden my historical horizons. So that's four AP classes next year. Oh boy.
Now for the sweet part, which erases all the bitter. I gave Brittany that poem I wrote about my sexuality, and she saw right through the little metaphors and symbolism. She texted me at midnight last night, and asked if the poem was about my being gay. I told her yes and that I hope it doesn't bother her or change the way she sees me. She said absolutely not, that I'm still the same Jenna she knows and loves, it's just that she knows me a bit better now. Then she thanked me for confiding in her and sharing that with her.
Then she asked when I realized I was gay and who all knows. I sent her a good-sized answer, but it was 1 in the morning by then, so she fell asleep.
Today she didn't treat me any differently. She gave me a ride to my car because it was pouring rain and I had a long way to walk. But then my bro friend Judd beat me to her car and sat next to her so I was stuck in the backseat while he chatted her up about his new job. Damn it.
I'm 99% positive that she's not bi, she's completely straight. I was keeping my hopes up until last night. If she was bi, I would think she would share that once I told her I was gay. And...I think I'm okay with that. I just want to enjoy her company and her friendship, and celebrate the fact that every day we get closer and closer.