Come, have a cigar

swimmerguy's picture

Well well, it r mah birfdai.

I can legally fuck anyone now, I guess.
Except anyone even a day younger than me now, I guess...

Anyway, I had a litany of topics I wanted to talk about, now it'll be just as many as I can remember.

It kinda sucks, it seems like Western Society, mostly from Christianity, has had some weird taboo on sex for a long time, and it's weird.
Like, why wouldn't they have anything against fat people?
I mean, food and sex, both necessary for our survival, but overindulging in food will kill you while overindulging in sex won't, it'll feel great.
Why this great taboo on sex?
I mean, especially masturbation, like, there are no possible downsides to it, pleasure, lowered blood pressure and stress, reduced incidence of prostate cancer.
Like, fuck. Who doesn't love that?

On a related note, why is it absolutely fine for men to walk around with no shirt on in public but it's somehow a problem when women do it?
I mean, not saying I wouldn't rather look at some hot shirtless guy than some shirtless woman, but I know for half the population, that isn't true.
Like, really, what is the difference? Children will be scarred from looking at the boobies? They fucking suck on them for food for their first few months of life.
I mean, honestly, why do we feel this burning need to protect people from the human body? Humans are fucking hot! Let's take advantage of that!
Why this shame?
And especially selective shame, I mean, really, what will shirtless women do to our children that shirtless men don't?
The only reason seeing a pair of titties swinging in the breeze would be shocking is because you never see it, and you never see it because it's illegal, and it's illegal because it's shocking, and it's shocking because you never see it, etc etc etc.
And the Great Circle of Logic rolls on valiantly, heroically ignoring its exasperated arch-nemesis, the more conventional Chain of Logic.

On another related note, today, for my birthday we went to this performance dinner show thing, and it was all very impressive, but something was awesome was there was this hugely buff little Asian guy and he took off his shirt and it was hot.
Damn.

Fuck, I just wrote a really pretentious rant about suicide. Now I deleted it. Fuck me.

Well after that waste of pretentious energy, I'm all tired out.
Good fucking night, guys.

Comments

jeff's picture

Happy birthday!

I think you can fuck anyone less than two years younger than you, btw. I would hate to think CAG be disqualified if he is slightly younger. ;-)

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"You can judge the whole world on the sparkle that you think it lacks" - Dawes, When My Time Comes (http://youtu.be/Z0FrcTX6hWI)

elph's picture

"can" "less" and "younger"...

...in the same sentence: A bit too much to decipher this early in the morning! :)

jeff's picture

Basically...

If swimmerguy is 16 today, he can legally sleep with a boy who had their 14th birthday yesterday. But if it were that person's 14th birthday today, they're illegal. And, of course, this is about consensual sex, naturally. ;-)

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"You can judge the whole world on the sparkle that you think it lacks" - Dawes, When My Time Comes (http://youtu.be/Z0FrcTX6hWI)

elph's picture

Yep...

This second attempt is quite clear: no ambiguity!

Tycoondashkid's picture

wait, how can he?

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you should talk all the talk in a poets style

jeff's picture

Because...

Most states have a "Romeo and Juliet" clause, which lets people have sexytime with people close to their own age. It wouldn't make sense if swimmerguy had a 15 y/o boyfriend that he had been dating, that as soon as he turns 16, the sexytime is now illegal because one partner is above, and the other below, the age of consent.

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"You can judge the whole world on the sparkle that you think it lacks" - Dawes, When My Time Comes (http://youtu.be/Z0FrcTX6hWI)

Tycoondashkid's picture

that sounds odd

so he could techniqly fuck a 13 y/o?

the British sex laws make more sense to me,
your both over 16? you can have sexytime
your both under 16 BUT within 2 years in age BUT over 10? you can have sexytime
those just sound better to me
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you should talk all the talk in a poets style

jeff's picture

Uhh...

That sounds like nearly the same thing, not sure about the above 10 part, though.

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"You can judge the whole world on the sparkle that you think it lacks" - Dawes, When My Time Comes (http://youtu.be/Z0FrcTX6hWI)

Tycoondashkid's picture

if their the same

U type it out wrong
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you should talk all the talk in a poets style

elph's picture

I wish...

...I could understand what you just said! :)

Tycoondashkid's picture

bad translation

i meant to say he must have typed it wrong
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you should talk all the talk in a poets style

jeff's picture

Err...

Nope, reads right to me. ;-)

---
"You can judge the whole world on the sparkle that you think it lacks" - Dawes, When My Time Comes (http://youtu.be/Z0FrcTX6hWI)

Tycoondashkid's picture

must be a misunderstanding

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you should talk all the talk in a poets style

elph's picture

You should be aware...

...that Jeff has an innate propensity to never let it rest.

Tycoondashkid's picture

by that do you mean?

he'll never let it go?

im like that just one slip up is all i need for years and years of tourture >:3
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you should talk all the talk in a poets style

elph's picture

Yep...

Yep!

jeff's picture

Well...

When I'm wrong, I admit it. It just never happens.

If you can point to where anything I wrote says swimmerguy can legally sleep with a 13 y/o, I'd concede.
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"You can judge the whole world on the sparkle that you think it lacks" - Dawes, When My Time Comes (http://youtu.be/Z0FrcTX6hWI)

elph's picture

Paranoid!

Never
said
that!

Tycoondashkid's picture

anybody close to his age you said

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you should talk all the talk in a poets style

anarchist's picture

I'm going to see

how far to the right we can push this.

Tycoondashkid's picture

me too :D

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you should talk all the talk in a poets style

anarchist's picture

MORE!

-

Tycoondashkid's picture

MOAR!

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you should talk all the talk in a poets style

anarchist's picture

EVEN MOAR!

4chan language

Tycoondashkid's picture

MERE! MERE! BLOODY MERE!

Scots

Maybe its like Pac-Man well come out the other side
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you should talk all the talk in a poets style

jeff's picture

Nope...

this is it

Tycoondashkid's picture

it has to end somwhere

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you should talk all the talk in a poets style

anarchist's picture

Wow.

I didn't think it could go so far. I think it'll go off the page.

Tycoondashkid's picture

maybe we'll enter the void

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you should talk all the talk in a poets style

anarchist's picture

Let's find out

.

Tycoondashkid's picture

watch out for the Daleks and

watch out for the Daleks and Cybermen

anarchist's picture

I guess

we'll have to prepare to serve Sithis because I'm more Skyrim than Dr. Who.

Tycoondashkid's picture

you do that

ill try not to be killed by dalek Sekt and the cult of Skaroo

anarchist's picture

I'm getting to lazy to think of something to write.

-

Tycoondashkid's picture

me too lets just hang

.

MacAvity's picture

Experiment successful.

You've caused the page to widen so that a horizontal scroll bar appears.

Tycoondashkid's picture

no bar on opera yet we shall continue

.

MacAvity's picture

Opera? What?

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Tycoondashkid's picture

its the fastest internet browser

-

MacAvity's picture

And

it has windows so wide that this page still doesn't have a horizontal scroll bar?
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Tycoondashkid's picture

no scroll yet

no scroll on Chrome either

MacAvity's picture

Blimey

How wide are your windows?! Do you have a really big screen or something? How big is your screen?
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Tycoondashkid's picture

a small laptop

just maximum view size on Chrome & Opera your comment just made the slide bar visible

anarchist's picture

I have a widescreen

Inspiron and I just got a scroll bar with your last post.

Tycoondashkid's picture

i think its the browser that scales sits tho

.

Dracofangxxx's picture

ok you bastards I can't even read all your words now

mayhaps it's time to stop abusing Chad's journal ;)
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That's redick!

MacAvity's picture

Muahahaha!

MuahaHAhahaHAHAHAhaha!

anarchist's picture

I just zoomed out all the way on Opera.

We're getting closer to the edge of the smallest size.

Tycoondashkid's picture

WINNING!

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anarchist's picture

I'm late.

But we're going to the second page.