Just Curious.

radiosilence95's picture

Can being in love be a one-sided thing? In other words, can you truly be in love with someone if the feelings aren't reciprocated?

I honestly don't think you can. It's pretty difficult to be IN love with someone when they don't see you in the same way. I mean, you may love them a lot, have really deep feelings for them, but I think being IN love requires two people. You just experience it fully when it's returned. But, I dunno. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe you can be deeply IN love with someone without them returning the same sentiments. But I think that would be pretty damn hard.

Just something I was thinking about.

Anywho.

I have to be at work in 15 minutes, so mayhaps I should go. I work for two and a half hours, then I'm going to my grandparents' pond to fish with my cousins. I love fishing there. It's so relaxing.

See ya.

Comments

elph's picture

Using your definition...

...which requires that the feelings me shared mutually... you have answered the question.

But with a less restrictive definition for being in love... I think it is definitely very possible to be in love (or infatuated) with another without the feeling being reciprocated.

And... it's hell; I know! :(

radiosilence95's picture

Ah yes, and therein lies

Ah yes, and therein lies another dilemma: defining what "being in love" actually means. Because being IN love is very different, I think, from just loving someone.

And then of course there's another question attached to this: Can sixteen-year-olds experience true, genuine love? Or is everything I'm feeling now just strong infatuation that will help me become capable of true love later on in life? Because, you know, a lot of teens claim to be "in love," but...do any of us know what that really means so young?

I dunno. Really this whole thing just brings up more questions than answers. Ugh.

Dracofangxxx's picture

Well, let's think about this.

I do think you can be in love with someone without being CURRENTLY with them- Ergo, breaking up, because I've experienced that.

But I don't believe you can truly love someone without being in a relationship with them *unless* you've been best friends for years. It takes a long time to get to know someone besides base interactions, and "love" is more of an action than a verb. Boyfriend breaks out in disgusting hives anywhere? I get him medicine and kiss them to make 'em better, no matter how much they squick me out. Scratching boyfriend's back? It's covered in acne but it doesn't bother me.

Love is more complicated than "I HAVE FEELS FOR THIS PERSON VERY STRONGLY", love is more of the action of "this person has flaws, and I realize that there is better matches, but I still choose to be with them and love them for the flaws". I don't think you can really love someone without being with them, touching them, taking care of them. Love is less about romantic talk and more about actions, frankly.

Like I feel more loved when the boyfriend does something like, randomly wiping my nose for me 'cause "I gotta snot nose" instead of cuddling, or we both fart and just crack up...instead of like, making out. It's the little gross things that we just don't care about anymore that makes me think, well I really love this kid.

Love = something like Trust+fun+weirdness+time+base attractions

That's just my two bits.
-
That's redick!

radiosilence95's picture

Yes, yes. You make an

Yes, yes. You make an excellent point, as usual. I guess if they were a best friend who doesn't share your feelings, that might be an exception. But even then that might just be very strong infatuation, seeing as being best bros isn't the same as actually being together. So, maybe infatuation can turn into true love if the other person is infatuated with you too?

I really dunno. This whole love thing is confusing :|

MacAvity's picture

...

I believe in unrequited love. I also believe in love that is dependent on reciprocation.
The truest love remains strong whether or not it is returned.

radiosilence95's picture

So, you think it is possible

So, you think it is possible to be in love with someone without them returning the feelings. Yeah, I can see that. But, as Shelby said, I think you'd have to know them for quite awhile. I never did believe in the whole love at first sight thing.

MacAvity's picture

Yeah...

Rationally it doesn't make sense - but love isn't rational. Love that works generally makes some sense... but I believe that love doesn't have to be permanent to be real.

I don't know. I believe in love.
I believe in falling in love with a stranger on a bus and never speaking to her and never seeing her or loving her again after those few minutes, and it can still be love.
(I haven't done this, by the way. At least not yet.)

angel syndrome's picture

I think it depends on what

I think it depends on what you define being in love as - the burning passion, or the feeling that lingers on after the first few months of being with someone.

The burning passion can be unrequited, of course.

But I don't think you can truly love someone unless you know them inside and out. You can be strongly infatuated, though.