Lost for Words

swimmerguy's picture

I think part of the problem with being a teenager is that you're growing up and changing too fast...

Like it seems like I know, I understand so many more things than I did just a year, six months ago. When I look back at my previous journals, it always happens where I totally hate the me from 2 years ago, and still kinda dislike the me from even a few fucking months ago.
I mean, just fucking months ago, I dislike myself.
Relationships last just months or weeks. Not that I've had too many of those to deal with.

But even as much as I understand now that's new and incredible, I know that I still don't understand enough.
And I'll get there.

But fuck.

I mean, just, what, 2, 3 years ago, I was like some really conservative Boy Scout? I don't think I was really religious, I've never really been religious of any kind...
But I mean, I used to be all drugs are bad, sex is bad shit.
Not that I really had that well formed of ideas then, but that's the point.
They're better formed now, and totally, completely opposite.

How will they change?


Fuck me. Please. But no, really.
Um, talked to CAG today, he seemed happy, that was good.
But fuck, I really need to get on this...

shit look at these comments.
"I love hitler, I wish I was eva. Hitler was a good man of God

my hero !
replace the word,jew with muslim! and ull be suprised how the world would love him!
as i do!!!!!!
national pride!
god rest your sole"

Gotta love Neo-Nazis.

Um, not a whole lot else to say.

Oh yeah, I used to be really offended by profanity, but it really just makes life harder. I mean, if you really hate profanity, wouldn't you not be able to listen to this fucking awesome song?

Oh God, I'm tired tonight. I'm not gonna say anything coherent.
So the only thing for it is to say, g'night guys, I'll be more coherent tomorrow!


hellonwheels's picture

for a second there, chad...

I thought you might have joined the local skinheads union. I mis-read your comment on the comments, and thought you were posting in support of hitler.


Mental wounds not healing, driving me insane, i'm goin' off the rails on a crazy train- the ozzman

elph's picture


Me too... and I was extremely saddened.

Then, like magic, the quotes were seen!

swimmerguy's picture


Yeah, well they were also in different style than how I usually write...

Anyway, that would be quite a reversal of previous views to have taken place for me to be a Hitler supporter. Ja, he was a douchebag. I'm much more of a left-wing socialist than a right-wing fascist...

jeff's picture


Good to know people on this site think you're a few punctuation marks away from being a fascist, no?! ;-)

"You can judge the whole world on the sparkle that you think it lacks" - Dawes, When My Time Comes (http://youtu.be/Z0FrcTX6hWI)

Tycoondashkid's picture

i thought you were supporting hitler

but why were you on the video in the first place?
you should talk all the talk in a poets style

jeff's picture

A contrary view...

The use of quotes AND italics seemed to make it obvious they were quotes, plus you saying you saw the following comments right beforehand, hehe.

"You can judge the whole world on the sparkle that you think it lacks" - Dawes, When My Time Comes (http://youtu.be/Z0FrcTX6hWI)

anarchist's picture

The only other person who could state an idea in so many words

is Launcelot Gobbo; and it seems you're just as repetitive!

I don't know if I was ever anti-drug. I was against myself using them, but I don't think I've ever given a fuck if other people do.

I'm one of the few who did notice the quotes at first glance. I wouldn't care if you were posting in support of the H-dawg. Every country except Canada and Australia did something absolutely horrible in the war; Hitler's was just one of the more extreme ones.

Mein teacher told me about that video.

I need to learn that song on bass. Next week.