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MacAvity's picture

Is a man obligated, by the laws of manhood, to challenge another man to a duel if said other man insults the first man's lover?

'Cause some redneck called my alleged roommate Zephyr a 'hippie pinko faggot' because she told him that he shouldn't be shooting prairie dogs for no reason, and Zephyr's boyfriend refuses to challenge the redneck to a duel. He does her laundry for her, and all sorts of domestic stuff like that, but he won't defend his lady's honor when someone calls her a hippie pinko faggot. Leah and I naturally gave him no end of grief for this, and still he refuses.

And the great thing about challenging someone to a duel - especially a sword duel - is that nobody's going to accept that challenge. Particularly since almost nobody has an appropriate sword. So you don't even have to fight the duel, just challenge it. And it's so rare for a man to insult a lady so honestly and offensively (but not yet illegally, 'cause that would call for actions other than a duel), some of us never even get this good an opportunity to challenge anyone to a duel.

I was always looking for an excuse to duel someone over Grey. That was how I loved her - didn't want anything from her, couldn't imagine actually being with her, just wanted to prove my devotion by doing something brave and foolish like swordfighting another man. Or anything, anything she might ask, but she never did ask anything. And no one ever offended her. Even through the eyes of envy I could see that her boyfriend treated her better than I would have been able. And so I never got to duel anyone.

I miss being in love like that. There's no one I would duel for now - not that I wouldn't duel anyway, for the sake of duelling, because duelling is awesome. But not for anyone.

And now Zephyr's boyfriend is wasting this perfect opportunity; I don't understand.


Tycoondashkid's picture

people dual in Scotland

with hard wood bats, its pretty barbaric but tradition none the less
you should talk all the talk in a poets style

stillgotlegs's picture

Naww, she should defend her

Naww, she should defend her own honour if she's that insulted.
“Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?”

MaddieJoy's picture

I've always wanted to duel

I've always wanted to duel someone, or be dueled over. With real swords and armor! Maybe I should work at a Renaissance Fair.

"It's a helluva start, knowing what makes you happy."
--Lucille Ball

radiosilence95's picture

A real gentleman's duel with

A real gentleman's duel with swords should be the way to solve things. Dudes just beat the shit out of anyone who messes with their "bitches" (as they commonly address females nowadays), but swords are far more classy. So I share your frustration towards the boyfriend. How disappointing to waste such an opportunity.

I don't want someone fighting for me...I want to be the one fighting for someone. Just the other day an editor shot down a good idea Brittany had for the paper, which made her come dangerously close to crying. I shoulda challenged that douche to a sword duel. I missed a perfect opportunity as well! Curses!