Kinda like the small town blues. I went home tonight, from a fairly shitty day @ work, and then I got a message, from a friend I haven't heard from in years.
I showed up at the casino, and they were all pretty well on their way...I wanted to talk to my friend c, who works security there, but he was @ our friend j's house, as she was having a breakdown since her bf broke up with her today.
long story short, saw a bunch of old ass friends from high school.
though it was great to see them all again, I felt like we had nothing in common anymore.
I have become city folk, they are the same country bred, rednecks they were before.
Unlike them, I will never know the pleasures of a woman, never motorboat a drunken chick @ a bar, and never be able to speak freely and openly about sexual conquests. lol.
I guess I have to accept I will never be straight, never be one of the guys in that situation...that shit sucks.
on the plus side of tonight, another old friend came up from arizona w/ her fiance, staying on the coast for their honeymoon, and they came over for dinnner. It was good to see her again, and learn of her sister's lesbian wedding.
anyway, old ass friends. good and bad. Also, I have been saying the N-WORD waayyyyy too much lately. hanging out around stupid, young, immature kids who say it left and right, and lately, it has become part of my vocabulary again.
Sometimes I scare myself with how honestly racist, evil and white supramacist my comments and thoughts can be.