This song sounds about as organized as my thoughts feel right now.
I think I need to organize my thoughts. I mean, maybe I could if I had a good, peaceful place to do it, for just a while.
But the thing is, all I do is think. It gets you trapped, until I can't stop, and sometimes, not thinking is better.
I dunno. All I do know is that it probably seems likely that my scattered thoughts and emotional dysfunction is probably just the age I'm at, I'll probably figure it out sooner or later.
I mean, damn, that article tycoondashkid posted, about that school district with all the suicides? 13 percent of kids attempt suicide at some point? A third of LGBT kids?
Like, I don't know of a situation that would make me commit suicide... I can just never comprehend the full gravity of a decision like that.
Like I've thought about like what if I did, and despite how I think after death will be like before life, blank nothingness, I still think about my family, my parents, and how they'd react, and that makes me so sad... so sad... Even though I don't think it could possibly affect me in the afterlife, and it wouldn't affect me in this life, I guess that's the definition of morality.
I couldn't let that happen, no matter what, what it'd do to them, would be at least as bad as I ever feel.
So yeah, so little is set in stone this early in life, just the thought of what that'd do to my family to do that... I never could, just to be selfish.
And even besides that I don't think I would, really, anyway.
It just doesn't seem worth it, life is so short, and so small. We have to be grateful.
Anyway, heavy journal, but g'night guys