well I wasn't expecting that...

hellonwheels's picture

So this guy I met a few months back while digging some trails for mtn biking, turns out to be gay.

tonight, we were chatting on facebook, and he was debating sexuality w/ one of his fb friends, and he ultimately came out as bi, or at least bi curious leaning gay to this kid while we were talking, by commenting on this kids' photos.

At first, I thought he wass joking around, but after talking to him for a fe wminutes about friends of ours who were gay,and friends who came out...he basically came out to me. He said he has also come out to the majority of the builders @ our local trail network over the past two weeks, and most of them were cool with it.

He also asked me if I could keep a secret, and this one will be difficult. A mutual friend of ours, who appears by all means, to be a straight, white kid who is a talented athlete and student, came out to him!

I would never have seen that coming!

anywho, back to homework! Gotta love procrastination!

Comments

hellonwheels's picture

oh and one more thing...

Apparently that kid who has been flirting with me, mentioned in several previous journals, was also flirting with the first guy, who came out to me tonight, I think I am losing it!

I know I will be after this weekend, writing two papers and a take home test! haha. later.

and I hope I can keep that other guys' secret. he's a good friend, and his future as a pro athlete might depend on that little bit of information staying on the DL, so hopefully I can keep my mouth shut. I can't wait to go dig trails with both of those kids next week though! So excited to have a jump-able, freeride-able mtn bike again! Go big or Go home! haha

Mental wounds not healing, driving me insane, i'm goin' off the rails on a crazy train- the ozzman

elph's picture

I'd suspect (but cannot "know")...

...that this is far more common than generally assumed.

It's very likely that there are many talented gay kids who rationalize that in today's society there continue to remain just too many unknown risks in openly declaring one's inner yearnings...

Sad!

hellonwheels's picture

sadly elph,

I think you are right! we live in a society today that does not allow for that possibility for many people, and so we live our lives in denial of who we really are.

Mental wounds not healing, driving me insane, i'm goin' off the rails on a crazy train- the ozzman

jeff's picture

Depends...

You can't complain about a society if you're not working to change it. I mean, Johnny Weir gets grief for being openly gay in *figure skating*, of all things, and it has probably cost him gold medals, jobs, and endorsement deals.

That said, he refused to compromise his life for his career. Most people will.

Even actors are questioned about whether they were worried playing a gay role, when their previous turns as rapists and serial killers were fine, since that wouldn't hurt their career... those are just acting, heh.

---
"You can judge the whole world on the sparkle that you think it lacks" - Dawes, When My Time Comes (http://youtu.be/Z0FrcTX6hWI)

elph's picture

Message intent not 100% clear:

"You can't complain about a society if you're not working to change it."

The implication being that we're not?

jeff's picture

Not necessarily...

For the athlete, the fact that no one came before him to be openly gay and show it didn't affect his career doesn't exist. But he gets to choose whether to be that first athlete.

Hellonwheels often trots out a litany of reasons why he isn't out (family, friends, etc.), but in his case, he's really not out because he's not comfortable with himself. So, for him, I'd say those things are all distractions from working on himself, but they sound like reasonable things.

But, once someone is in college or beyond, being closeted is just silly. The closet is never something to respect. Not to shame the closeted, of course, since everyone was there once. But at a certain point, it limits your life beyond any limits you think being openly gay might.

Not to mention, most often you won't even KNOW if being openly gay affects you negatively. If you don't get hired for a job, or anything else, the reason is likely a mystery. That said, being openly gay still provides benefit there, since it filters out things you'd be better off avoiding (working for people uncomfortable with sexuality) anyway.

---
"You can judge the whole world on the sparkle that you think it lacks" - Dawes, When My Time Comes (http://youtu.be/Z0FrcTX6hWI)

hellonwheels's picture

you make a strong point....

with the 'acting' thing, but I still am not comfortable with being gay, and I doubt, in reality, that I will ever be.

Mental wounds not healing, driving me insane, i'm goin' off the rails on a crazy train- the ozzman

MacAvity's picture

Nice.

I bet it feels good just to know that you're less alone than you thought.

He said most of the trail builders were cool with it, eh?

hellonwheels's picture

Yeah, surprisingly...

He did say that. I mean, I know where I live, or at least the major population center near where I live is generally gay friendly, but there are still quite a number of homophobes out there.

I am just scared, as elph suggested, that there are some subgroups of that population, some of whom are my friends, will not accept it, But who knows, eh?

Mental wounds not healing, driving me insane, i'm goin' off the rails on a crazy train- the ozzman

Tycoondashkid's picture

why don'y you come out the way i did

only tell people you know who will take it well
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you should talk all the talk in a poets style

hellonwheels's picture

well, a few of my friends already know.

As of the current count, including my ex's family and parents, I am out to about 15 people or so. Lets see: david, chris, andrew, g, ana, josh, tim, gerry, ana's bf, marisa, alik, my mom, talia (kinda), and a few of ricks friends, so yeah. at the most, only about 20 people know for sure. but yeah. Oh, I guess I forgot monika, jordin and ashley, so that makes it a little over 20, tops. but still.

Mental wounds not healing, driving me insane, i'm goin' off the rails on a crazy train- the ozzman

Tycoondashkid's picture

your out to more than me

lets see Andrew, Callum, Dad, Mary-Beth, Graeme, Gemma thats about it but take solace in that
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you should talk all the talk in a poets style