★ = =

angel syndrome's picture

I want to clarify things, I don't hate humanity. I am (usually) shy towards other people and sometimes I don't like talking much to others. Sometimes I am disappointed in people. But I don't think I hate anyone. My comment in my previous journal was self-oriented. Let's look at it again :

"Something about not eating is so appealing to me, because it's so non-human and alien, and my humanness is one of the things I like least of myself."

The word hate is not even mentioned here... Or other people. This sort of mindset towards myself, which is unhealthy, comes from (or caused? I don't know which came first) my in-and-out of eating disorders over the past 2-3 years. Journals on my previous user would provide ample evidence of this.

It seems like a good time to explain my username, too. An angel is a supernatural being (hint : non-human!) and a syndrome is "a condition characterized by a set of associated symptoms."

The condition is the Otherness, the symptoms (which, by the way, are physical or mental signs of existence of a disease) are documented here, through creative writing. This is the basis in which I chose the username and the format of this journal.

Wanting to be Other and loving humanity are not mutually exclusive.

Comments

Tycoondashkid's picture

i think it was

just Anarchist being a dick, now that you've brought it up your user name is fucking awesome :D

elph's picture

And, I might add...

...this is exactly how you're seen: artistic, a bit of selective aloofness, a promising future... and with discernment and patience: payoff with the love of your life.

Give it time... it's waiting for you!

MacAvity's picture

You're beautiful.

Thanks for explaining.

I've always seen you as an angel with a syndrome, I think.