So short story here. I ended up doing all the work for a project and my classmates did virtually nothing. We finally presented the project, I'm sure I passed. Forget those guys if they didn't pass, it's not my fault they had work or they just didn't feel like coming to class because they were hung over or out of their minds. I'm done with you guys, fuck it.
So I'm sure I passed. Weights off of my shoulders, numbers deleted, no more unnecessary contact. Math however is a different story. But I'll find a way, to do it, I always find a way subhaan'Allah. Not much has happened this semester, but things have turned out for the best. Many nice things have since happened.
I'd love to talk about these nice things, but unfortunately (not playing the mysterious card or anything) it's just awkward. But suffice it to say I've found the best way to relieve myself of stress and cope with life in a much better way. However there is one major problem I've faced this time around. Disowning my adoptive father.
I love him to pieces and I'm sure he does love me too, but sometimes I feel as if he doesn't. He has no idea that the things he does hurts my Mother and I so. I wish I had my old father back (figuratively of course), before he became whatever he is now. I just want my old father back with all of the wisdom and love of having fun.
It saddens me very much. Sometimes I wish things never would've turned out in that way. In which I mean my father's first two betrayals against my mother. Then ultimately the seperation. However I was too young and never really saw my father that much to even notice. But only now I realize that I want a father.
I'm not sure if I should disown him or not. Such a good man gone so astray really makes me worry for his well-being. I wish he could understand what he's done. I wish I could relive that one moment when we spent Christmas together as a family. I just want that one moment, that one moment when I felt so secure and happy.
I have no idea who he is anymore in a way.