Seriously, that gives me kinda a boner.
I've actually considered joining our nearby Mormon church. Not because I'd actually like start believing in God or thinking Joseph Smith was a prophet or something, nor stop jacking off, watching porn sometimes, drinking caffeine, using profanity or blasphemy, fucking when I can get it, nor making lewd references to my friends moms...
But partially because I think they are good people, most of them, even if I think they're a little weird; partly because hopefully they'd keep me from being too stupid with some things I've done, cause I have had mistakes and otherwise that were pretty bad, pretty stupid, and I continue to make them; and partly because it's just so sexy.
I mean, I feel that there is, deep down, some masochistic sexual arousal present in a lot of religions.
Like John Calvin, if you've ever heard of him, Lutheran churches follow him. His kinda theory thing was that mankind is inherently evil, from birth we're stained by original sin, and that basically there's nothing we can do about it. The only possible way to be saved is if you give penance and remorse for your inherent evil, God, in his infinite mercy, enters you in a sort of Salvation Lottery.
In other words, if you don't repent, you definitely go to hell.
But if you do, God randomly selects a certain number to be saved and go to heaven, and the rest go to hell. Those he select, it doesn't matter how good of people they are, or how bad, the only criteria for being entered in the Salvation Lottery is to repent, the rest is just chance.
Now, I hate Calvinism for several reasons, it's morbid, it's pathetic, and, I think, it's incredibly masochistic.
Sorta like Oh yeah, God, I'm such a bad human, I'm so stained by original sin. Now you have to save me. SAVE ME! SAVE ME, RIGHT UP THE ASS!
Or that's what it seems like to me.
But of course, Calvinism isn't nearly as sexy as Mormonism. I know a few Mormon boys, and it's just kinda like they're so pure, I'd just like to corrupt them.
Corruption sex is just so fucking sexy.
So that's like one of my life goals, find some cute, innocent, pure Mormon boy, and go fuck him (actually, "fuck with him" is probably more accurate, since I'm more of a bottom...) and corrupt him, and then we can go be corrupt together :P
That's just so sexy.
The only problem with that is that I'm used to having my Sundays wide open. To just throw church in there as something I need to go to, I think would just use up way too much of a beautiful day...
Hmmm... Maybe I will and maybe I won't.