I remember when I used to get so offended or shocked whenever I would point out a random guy to a friend and ask her if she'd ever date him and her response would be somewhere along the lines of "Ew! No! He's so ugly!" Because I used to have this silly idea that love refuses to discriminate on the basis of appearance. When in reality, you can't really maintain a relationship with someone you're not physically attracted to. Let's be honest: if Brittany was 30 pounds overweight and had greasy hair and pimples, I would not be pursuing her right now and you wouldn't have to endure my constant rants about her. That's why it's so good that people have their own unique ideas of what beauty looks like, otherwise a bunch of people with the same physical traits would be lonely.
My friend Katie has been pretty obnoxious lately. She's just so harsh and critical. Everything I say is responded to with a "That's stupid!" or "God, you're such a dumb ass." She got into a huge argument with our friend Haylee over how to give a baby CPR. Yeah. She seems to enjoy arguing with everyone lately. I think she's depressed about her family life or something. Still, that's no excuse to act like a bitch. I'm glad she always leaves early on Mondays when we all go out to dinner, because my other two friends and I have been having more fun without her. She's so damn moody.
I added something to my bucket list: walk into a church holding hands with my girlfriend and seeing how everyone reacts. Cuddle up in the pews and shit. Pretend to pray holding hands. Also, if there's ever an anti-gay protest around, I wanna make out with my girlfriend hardcore in front of the protestors just to piss them off.
Brittany's prom was last night. She went with her boyfriend of course. You know, I really hope they had a good time together. I think every day it gets a bit easier for me to wish them happiness. If he makes her happy, then I'm happy for her. I have to be. Otherwise I would be a horrible friend.
That's another thing. It's also becoming easier to accept my role as a friend. I'm still not one hundred percent certain she does or does not like me "in that way," and I may never find out for certain unless I ask her. And I have to be content with that.
She graduates in two weeks. I'm really scared you guys. I don't know what I'm going to do with myself. We'll definitely text and hang out after she graduates. I know that. So that's comforting. Still. I'm really gonna miss seeing that girl every day. I'll probably cry a lot. I have somewhat of a plan. I think I'll confess that I had a crush on her all year on the day she graduates. Or somewhere near then. Maybe. I don't know.
Damn it. I need to think of more things to write about than just Brittany.