So I wanted to make a journal about Vanitas Vanitatum, Omnia Vanitas, a phrase which means "vanity of vanities, all is vanity".
Because it's true, it really is. People, see, all have different ways of viewing the world and how people should act and how things should be, yet, somehow, everyone considers their way the best.
Of course, I'm probably uniquely suited to think this, because I'm in high school, the fucking cesspool of vanity, except I don't think vanity is really the word for it, it's very similar but I think a better phrase would be fucking douchefaggery.
I mean, have you ever seen the show Breaking Bad? The character, Gus, the man the main character, Walt, works for to cook meth, I really like him.
Because his character is fairly, not really humble, but smart, and careful.
I'll be in class and, all the time it happens, people will make statements like oh, man, I got so drunk or something along those lines.
And really, it's not very discreet. Gus would never do that.
There once was a guy who put a cherry bomb at a Starbucks and caused a bit of a scare.
And how did he get caught? He was bragging to his friends about it, and word got out.
Vanity, or its close cousins arrogance, cockery, and fucking douchefaggery, seem to be kind of just part of human nature.
Like, there's a sort of implied arrogance in even having views of any kind.
It seems to imply that you think you know that you're right, and you somehow are smarter than everyone else who's thought about this issue and doesn't agree with you.
Gandhi, for example, probably, in my book, the best human being ever to have lived, would often go on hunger strikes to force Congress to his bidding, like to try to stop the partitioning of India and Pakistan.
That's why he got killed, there was a guy who didn't agree with him, thought India and Pakistan should be partitioned, and to him, it seemed Gandhi going on a hunger strike to basically force Congress to stop it seemed incredibly cocky to him.
And there's something to that. I happen to agree with Gandhi on almost everything, but what if there was someone like Rick Santorum that had massive popularity, and he would go on hunger strikes to force Congress to have like a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage?
It doesn't seem so bad when Gandhi does it, but that's cause I agree with him, if I didn't, he would seem like a cock, thinking his views should be imposed on the all.
I think a fucking great example of this is humor. I watch Stephen Colbert, because I'm a liberal, he's a liberal, and he makes fun of conservatives.
I love the guy, and I think he's hilarious. (sometimes, sometimes he has bad episodes too, like us all)
Or Obama, at a press conference to announce the health care bill, Joe Biden was heard saying into Obama's ear by the mikes this is a big fucking deal!.
People got furious over that, but Obama, and I loved it, said something along the lines of Frankly, the vice president is right, health care is a BFD still.
And the White House released a shirt Health care laws, still a BFD.
And I thought that was hilarious and awesome.
But when Rick Santorum had like some weird analogy about Hobbits and the Lord of the Rings or something, I thought it was pretentious and stupid, and fucking douchefaggery.
Perhaps, if I was a conservative, I would have thought that hilarious, and Obama a very vulgar, arrogant man.
Like on my Facebook wall, when I made a post making fun of a theologian who had a weird argument, one of my Mormon friends posted a response accusing me of arrogance.
I'm pretty sure if I'd been a Mormon making fun of some atheist on my wall, he might have seen it in a little different light.
Or when I play chess, and when I'm winning, I relax, I don't pay as close of attention as I should, and sometimes it kills me, I get cocky.
You'd think the human race would have learned by now?
So recently, I've made it my goal to be less arrogant in general, I mean, some arrogance is necessary, like to have views, like I said before, but not nearly as much.
That usually includes something that's hard, which is not caring what other people think about me. There's a lot of douchefags in orchestra, and would they respect me more if I, I dunno, started bragging about drinking or something?
But I have to remind myself, they're douchefags, you don't want to be friends with them, and if you don't, if they judge you stupidly, what the fuck does it matter what's in their heads? Be discreet.
So now, when I see people wearing baseball caps on either backwards, or not quite backwards but sorta to the side too, or when they sag their pants, or say fucking dumb phrases like YOLO (you only live once), I try to remind myself don't judge, they can do whatever the fuck they want as long as it's not hurting you or anyone else. Maybe they're not fucking douchefags and they just act like it. Even if they are, who cares? Your life would be easier if you didn't care.
Cause that's really it, life is a lot easier, a lot safer, if you're not a fucking douchefag.
Gus is a meth dealer who got away with it for more than 20 years, and I bet he didn't brag about it to his friends like Mr. Starbucks bomb guy.
So I'm trying to make it a point to not care or get cocky about the way other people think or act, even if I regard them as fucking douchefags, like most everyone in high school.
I'll try to avoid bragging about my mistakes and the stupid things I do, be discreet, maybe I'll get away with things easier.
Try to avoid getting cocky, like in chess, and overlooking mistakes I shouldn't have, always pay attention.
Basically, do my own thing, my own way, and really not care what way other people are doing it differently, not get worked up over what they're doing, but just do what I do, with like-minded friends.
Because really, it's not just a moral thing, it's also pragmatic.
Your life is just a lot easier and safer if you're just not a fucking douchefag.