Sketchy Strawberries

radiosilence95's picture

Yesterday was my birthday. Being 17, I can now legally watch R-rated movies. My grandma's birthday gifts were rather creative among all the money I received--she gave me a pass for three free golf lessons and three X-Men comics. I didn't even know that she knew I liked comics. I've been wanting to learn how to golf for awhile now, so I really do appreciate the free lessons. And I've considered starting a little comic book collection. I think I'll start hunting for Iron Man, Spiderman, X-Men, Hellboy, Batman, Wonder Woman, and Ghost Rider comics. The rest don't really interest me.

My friends and I go out for dinner every Monday, so last night was a convenient birthday dinner for me. One of my friends didn't show up because her mom went insane on her for not sharing the same political views. All of my friends have mentally unhinged mothers. And since we were short one person, I decided on an impulse to invite Brittany. She was glad I invited her, but her baby sister was born on Easter, so she wanted to be home to cuddle with her.

I talked to one of my friends about this whole situation with Brittany being bi and everything, and he suggested that she's into me because other than her boyfriend I'm the only person she's opened up to about it. All of my friends keep telling me she's into me when they hardly see us interact with one another. So I try really hard not to let it all get to my head. Brittany showed me about 50 pictures of her baby sister today. She's so completely in love with babies and it's adorable to see her gush and flip out about her sister.

I just got back from an appointment with my counselor. I voiced all of my ideas for telling Brittany I like her, and I think I've got a good idea of what I wanna do. I'm gonna wait for a little bit, just kind of let things happen, and then I'm gonna write a poem about my crush on her and have her guess who it's about. Cute idea, right? The poem won't be mushy or anything. I came out to her with a poem and that couldn't have gone any better, so I think a poem would be a great way to let her know I really like her.

Hmm...I only have one naysayer who firmly believes I shouldn't tell Brittany I like her. Do you guys think I should tell her with a poem? I'm not gonna do it right away, but pretty soon I'd say.

I'm not expecting her to come running into my arms or anything like that. I'm trying really hard to be realistic. I don't really see her just throwing away our friendship because I have a tiiiny crush on her. Best case scenario: she admits to having the same feelings about me. Worst case scenario: she gets freaked out and doesn't want to talk to me anymore. I've learned that things usually end up in between the extremities. So she probably doesn't feel the same, but we'll continue to strengthen our friendship.

A group of acquaintances wants me to keep writing editorials even though we won't have a paper next year. They suggested that I come up with a nifty ghost writer name, print out a shit ton of witty editorials once a month or so, and just leave them scattered around the school for people to pick up. I thought it was a cool idea. I'd have to ask my principal for permission I think. I can't think of a kick-ass pen name though.

Any ideas?

Also, you're probably wondering where the title of this journal came from. During Easter dinner my grandma served a fruit platter. And the strawberries on said platter were HUGE. Like, pumped full of steroids and weird hormones huge. So I called them sketchy strawberries in my head. And for some reason the phrase made me giggle in the middle of dinner. I have no idea why.


MacAvity's picture

Radiosilence is a pretty cool name.

How big were these strawberries, anyway? Bigger than California strawberries? In California, it's pretty standard for strawberries to be five centimeters across - they're monstrous.

radiosilence95's picture

Yeah, I've considered using

Yeah, I've considered using that. I'm just not sure people would pick it up and read it.

These strawberries were, like, almost the size of my fist. But my fists are small and girly. Still, that's gigantic. I wouldn't be surprised if they were loaded with radioactive growth science...stuff. Good thing I don't like strawberries, or any other fruit for that matter.

Tycoondashkid's picture

use Radiosilence

i think you should tell her

radiosilence95's picture

With a poem? Cuz there are

With a poem? Cuz there are other options I have, too. I could maybe perhaps sneak it into a conversation. But I like the poem option best.

I guess I don't really have anything to lose. Probably...

Tycoondashkid's picture

use a poem

they can sooth and change emotions with words and you can leave it on her table and go home just in case she needs time to think

Dracofangxxx's picture

In my humble opinion...

She has a boyfriend. Poem might be creepy. Poem would work if you were forsure that she was into you, and free. Just tell her and be chill about it and make it no big deal.

Poem might make her feel weird about it... How would YOU feel if one of your guy friends gave you a poem about how he likes you, instead of just being like "yeah, I kinda have a crush on you. Sorry! No creeps though"
That's redick!

elph's picture

Heed Draco's advice...

...her assessment of the likely effect of a poem is right-on!

radiosilence95's picture make a good make a good point. Maybe a poem isn't the best idea. Time to reconsider my plan :P

Y'know what? Maybe I don't even need a plan. Nope. The more thought I put into something, the worse I make it for myself. I'm gonna ask her to hang out this weekend, this time just the two of us, so it'll probably come up in one of our rare heart-to-heart conversations.

Maybe...maybe I should just chill out. Take it day by day. Live in the moment.