So, my mom got the brat child a dog. A dachshund. I don't really like little dogs. One of my mom's exes had the PERFECT dog. He was, like, this giant brown husky/collie mix kinda thing. He was so sweet. I want a dog like that. A huge, fluffy dog. I'm not much of a dog person, but I love certain kinds. Dog smell kind of gets to me, though... So I dunno. The giant dog was precious, though. I would have to keep the dog outside most of the time, I think.
This dog, however, is an asshole. He yaps at everything for hours on end and shits/pisses everywhere in the house but does nothing when you take him outside to do his business. My (outside) kitten is beyond terrified of him. I hate seeing my baby all bristled and scared like that. Also, it sucks how this dog who shits everywhere lives in the house while my kitten isn't even allowed inside. Only one of my cats ever gets to come inside, and that's only sometimes. Apparently it's gross when they shed, but dog shit is totally cool. Get this: He even sleeps in the bed with them. A dog who shits everywhere sleeps with them, but... My cats are gross. Huh. Now, I don't know if it's just because I was totally smitten with FCG, who constantly left long, curly blonde hairs all over everything, or maybe because I myself shed lots of long dark hairs, but I think hair, whether it be from people or animals, is a lot less gross than shit. Just saying.
Brat dropped Little Cat, my kitten, the other day. She was holding him and walking around, and he was starting to get annoyed, so I suggested she hand him to me. She yelled, "NOOOOO!" and tore him away from me, and he fell and ran off, terrified. I didn't even see him again for 2 days. I was so fucking pissed. She tried to blame it on me and then started hitting me like she always does. And I just snapped. I reached over and just socked that bitch right in the shoulder. Now, I can't hurt much. I mean, I have absolutely no muscle mass whatsoever. But still, she started screaming and crying like I'd ripped her arm off or some such bullshit. She hits me three times as hard every day. Oh, and she also told a bunch of my dad's friends that she "hates it when I beat her" LOUDLY in a restaurant. Lovely.
Today, my mom and sister left me alone with the hellhound. I just know since tomorrow's Easter, they'll leave me alone with him again when they go to church, and I'm dreading it like you wouldn't believe. I've never HATED having the house to myself. That's always my favorite, but I can't enjoy it when I've got 5 straight hours of yapping and whimpering to deal with. I don't like it when he follows me everywhere or all the gross noises he makes or when he shits on the bottom of the table legs. I just don't like that. It gets to me. At one point, I called my mom, crying and telling her that I just can't deal with him anymore. Guess what her reaction was? She started screaming and bitching, totally unable to understand the fact that some people just don't like dogs all that much, and she said she couldn't stand me "more than ever in my entire life." What on Earth did I do? I didn't abuse the dog. I took him outside 3 times and made sure he didn't get into anything he wasn't supposed to.
I just can't handle the constant yapping, the constant need for attention, and the shit on the floor. I couldn't do anything today because I had to watch him. I couldn't spend time with any of my cats, I couldn't pick up any last minute Easter stuff, I couldn't even take the thing jogging with me because it's a small dog, so I missed out on my exercise today, and I've been trying to exercise every day. All that coupled with the simple fact that I am just not much of a dog person, and I think it's totally easy to see how I might have gotten a little upset.
Brat basically said she hoped my cats starved to death...
I think if I were an animal, I would be a cat. Yes, I would be a little tortoiseshell cat with big green eyes and white patches and a super fluffy tail. I would be a cat because cats hate 99.99999% of people, and they interact with you on their own time. I too hate 99.99999% of people, and I can only handle most people in small doses. And even though kitties hate almost everyone, if they do like you, then sometimes they can be super cuddly! Dude, I can see it now. I would be this adorably irresistible kitty, and I would go up to super hot girls and cuddle with them, biting anyone else who tried to touch me.
I dunno, I've just always kind of identified with cats. Not in, like, an "I'm a cat trapped in a teenage girl body" kind of way, but in, like, an appreciation of how they're independent and usually quiet and sort-of-aloof-but-not-really kind of way because that's totally me right there. Plus, they're the pretty much the epitome of cute, and I like cute things.
Which animal would you guys be? Cat? Dog? Lion? Platypus? Something else entirely?