It was. Today was an insult to Mondays, which are horrible to begin with. I barely got to speak to Brittany, she canceled our plans from yesterday because she was "too busy," and her fucking fan club swarmed her during journalism and she didn't even acknowledge my existence, something I haven't experienced in awhile.
They were all making her laugh a lot and the whole time I wanted to cry. I didn't even have my two friends there to distract me. I know it's stupid. I know it's petty that I want her attention as much as I can get it like some fucking five-year-old clinging to his mother or something. I didn't get to walk with Brittany to seventh hour because her gym class was in the auditorium and we couldn't really meet up. So I didn't even get THAT today.
I could handle all of that bullshit, but my three best friends were ALL gone today. Haylee and Katie were both sick and Judd had to go to a funeral. Tonight is usually the night we all go to dinner and goof around and forget about how god awful our Monday was, but I don't even have that luxury now, since none of them can make it tonight. So I'm gonna be sitting at home, missing my bros, staring forlornly at a computer screen.
Let's see...my paycheck was only twenty dollars. For two fucking weeks. I won't be getting that new job I was so hopeful about; the place hasn't called me and it's been two weeks since my interview. So that's wonderful.
But that's not the end of my bitching! I took a German test today and had no fucking idea what I was doing. So I probably bombed that. And for some strange reason I'm getting a D in AP English, WHICH IS MY BEST SUBJECT.
I sort of relapsed last night when Brittany said she was too busy to hang out. I was reminded of...*gulp*...Amber. How could I ever compare those two? It's just that Brittany's bailed on me three times in the past few weeks, and Amber always had an excuse not to hang out. And Brittany keeps promising to bring more poetry in. She's only given me three. So these things reminded me very briefly of my friendship with Amber, which brought those old insecurities and fears flooding back. But Brittany couldn't be any more different from Amber. And I've grown up a bit since Amber, become stronger. So I overcame that moment of comparing those two and doubting their intentions and all that jazz.
So anyway. Horrible, horrible day. I felt like screaming and crying most of the day. Tomorrow this won't even matter, I'm sure. But for now, I'm in a sucky mood.