It's Official

Hello Kitty Ninja's picture

I've been thinking lately and I've decided that I'm going to wait three months and if nothing happens between me and my friend (the one I like) then I'm just gonna give up and try my hardest to move on because if things keep on as they are, I'm gonna be feeling bad and lovesick for the rest of my life... I'm also thinking about coming out to my mommy this summer... I have no clue how she's gonna react but I'm just hoping for the best.
So basically, my and my friend... We uh, we have a complicated realtionship right now. She as a boyfriend, I love her, she moved and I have no clue how she feels about me at this moment but I'm thinking about maybe texting her and finding out... Well, I probably won't text her about that specifically, but I kinda wanna know how she is. She said all this really sweet stuff ablut me like, she called me beatuiful and she sayd that she'll never ever forget about me, but my other friend is claiming that she's lying and she's just leading me on, but I have no idea... I want to believe my crush and trust that she actually feels that way, but I have no way of knowing who's right. I hate to admit it but I've cut myself because of her and I know I'm gonna get a bunch of shit telling me it's wrong, but it helps... I just lay in bed thinking about her... I really love it when she gives me all her attention. It makes me feel so loved, I feel like I might explode!! Hahaha.
So, I wrote her a really long goodbye letter and it told her all about how I feel and stuff like that. I just really miss her and she only left yesterday. Hah. She's the funniest, smartest, nicest person I've ever met and I love her with all my heart and that's a huge statement because I have a really hard time loving after my first few relationships. They were all abusive... Physically and emotionally... I have huge trust issues after all that. They would make me feel worthless and I'd usually cry myself to sleep... My past relationship with my ex boyfriend was physically abusive and the relationship with my ex girlfriend was emotionally abusive. Anyways, back to my crush. She's the person I trust all my secrets to. I really need help and just... If you wanna give me advice, it's highly accepted. I really need it right now...

Comments

radiosilence95's picture

Well...

She's already moved. Even if there was a possibility for something between you two to happen, hey, it doesn't really matter now, because the relationship would have to be almost entirely long-distance.

Not trying to be harsh, I'm just saying that you may want to disregard the time frame you've given yourself and try to move on. There could be a boy or girl in your town that you meet and start a relationship with, someone who isn't miles away.

Hello Kitty Ninja's picture

Yeah...

I guess you're right... There isn't really any point, is there?