School is over as of Friday and I am happy but also not happy. Summer is always boring after awhile. I had my AP English exam and I think I did okay, but I'm not too sure about my essays. We had to write three essays in two hours and I finished forty minutes early because I didn't know what else to say. We had to explain the rhetorical strategies JFK utilized in a speech about a spike in steel prices during Vietnam, and I had no fucking idea what to write. Not a good feeling. But other than that, I was content with how I did.
I found these really awesome shirts: http://fckh8.3dcartstores.com/Tees_c_16.html
And I really wanted to buy the one that says "Legalize Love," but when I asked my mom she said no and that was that. No discussion about why or anything. I told her I have money to pay her back. She said it was because of the website's name in small print on the shirt, which, as I told her, I could easily cover up. I'm just gonna ask my dad. Or maybe I'll just swipe her debit card and leave her money for it. I don't know. It just pisses me off because it feels like her rejecting my sexuality.
My friend Judd and I discovered this amazingly gorgeous creek really close to my house. We waded in it and let the minnows nibble our toes and took pictures. It's great, like our own little paradise. I plan on inviting Brittany to explore it with me. I really, really miss her already, which is not good. Monday cannot come quickly enough. I do worry about Monday, because my friend Haylee is coming and I don't want her talking the whole time like she usually does or hogging Brittany's attention. When Brittany went last Monday Haylee wasn't there so I had her all to myself basically. God damn it, I am so petty. I love Haylee to death, but...I dunno.
I traveled two hours from my town to a bowling tournament to compete for a scholarship and I totally blew it. My highest game was a 157, which is awful. All six games altogether I only bowled an 823. That's an average of 138 per game. Ugh. Horrible. Blew my chance there. Ah well.
I had a horrible dream last night. I dreamed that Brittany, Judd, and I were sitting at this huge table with a bunch of people I've never seen before, mostly teenagers. I suddenly put my head on Brittany's shoulder and she shied away and was all NO JENNA DON'T DO THAT THAT'S WEIRD, except she didn't yell of course. And then I was trying to tell her a funny story but these other kids kept distracting her and finally she just got up and went off with them somewhere WHILE I WAS TALKING. And I kept calling her name but she still ignored me. What a shitty dream.