You know, it's odd...

swimmerguy's picture
This is pretty cool...

Anyway, it was odd, I never figured how hard it is to jack off when your lip is all stitched up, ya know.
I mean, you can't grimace like you're used to? It actually makes it surprisingly difficult. Not that I can't manage.

Um, not much else to say. Goodbye.

EDIT: oh and shit, Roger was really incredibly resentful about the band's continued success without him:


elph's picture

You came to this dire realization...

...after just one, isolated attempt?

Actually... this could be a great opportunity to subtly announce your temporary distress... and, at the same time, discover who your true friends may be:

I'm confident that you'll be pleasantly surprised by how many will privately proclaim their willingness to assist in relieving you of all strain...

In the event you can't tell: TIC! :)

Tycoondashkid's picture

its weird

i tired it with 5 broken fingers once and another time with a broken wrist

elph's picture

You did have one free hand! No?

I have no doubt that if you hadn't already discovered it (extremely doubtful), sheer desperation would have obliged you to quickly find that either hand works quite well... thank you! (Swimmerguy can attest to this fact!)

And... you attempted to fool us into believing that you were an inveterate "pee tail maniac"! Not impressed with such subterfuge! :)

Tycoondashkid's picture

that was before i become a expert

plus i was determined and im not determined much so i don't let it slip when i am

and i am ambiwanksterious

elph's picture

Ah... An Expert!

That is defined by how long you can "last" on edge? An hour?

Tycoondashkid's picture

to be honest elph

i once used a stopwatch to measure how long i could go i got exactly 57 Minutes 42 Seconds and 59 miliseconds

jeff's picture


is that edging or ADD?

"You can judge the whole world on the sparkle that you think it lacks" - Dawes, When My Time Comes (

Tycoondashkid's picture


ive never had Serious Wank ADD Curse, ive only ever had Normal/Average Wank ADD

anarchist's picture

What are edging and ADD?

Fapping terms?

Tycoondashkid's picture

yes, Fapping Terms

Edging is near cumming but trying to hold it off, although its harder for men rather than women because men have the PNR (Point of No Return) where you just cum regardless of you trying not to, women can skip an orgasm.

ADD (Attention deficit disorder) is a Mental illness that causes inattention, easy distractibility, disorganization, procrastination, and forgetfulness, i think my brother has some form of ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder) its pretty much the same thing except it adds Hyperactivity, Unruliness and aggression although aggression is rare

anarchist's picture

Skip an orgasm?

Ugh, that's why women are fucking weird. They have these things like menstruation and "skipping an orgasm", whatever the fuck that means, and all these weird terms like "tampons" and "pads" or whatever, and menopause. What the fuck is all this? What's the point in these things? Why would natural selection cause them to evolve to be able to have menopause? How does that benefit them? That's why I like being around guys a lot better. They're simple and talk about whatever, without worrying about all this stuff.
(And I know what most things in that list are, I was just trying to show how stupid and pointless female anatomy is.)

Tycoondashkid's picture

well to answer

oh come on 5 year old kids here know what Periods, Tampons and Pads are. easy evoloution would give them it for a couple reasons Humans weren't meant to live as long as we do in the wild, for the womens own saftey later in life so you know they don't die if they get pregnant etc.

not pointless, if it weren't for Female anatomy and straight sex you wouldn't be born

anarchist's picture

That's what I'm talking about.

I didn't understand any of that. Female anatomy is something I don't get, and never will.

Tycoondashkid's picture

well what to do you thinks the hardest part to get?

im pretty much as educated in it as possible at my age, as ive said before Scottish School's leaves no education holes barred

elph's picture

What anarchist is saying is...

that he has no interest in the female anatomy. I suspect that it never even competes with his mental images of Brad when he's in the throes of an expertly-delayed, but impending eruption! :)

Tycoondashkid's picture

i know

i just need someone to talk to and this is doing enough for me

MacAvity's picture


That made me laugh.
Surprisingly (since I am ambidextrous), I'm not ambiwanksterous! Although I could undoubtedly learn to be if anything were to happen to my left hand....

Tycoondashkid's picture

yeah that made me laugh to

im Ambidextrous i can write fuck all with both hands XD

nah im Right handed but i have the worst hand writing ever

Bosemaster42's picture

Never let your left hand know!

Joking,of course. Sounds like you figured it out. What's your face got to do with it? A grimace would indicate pain! Although pleasure and pain kind of share the same roots. Heh! Oh the mental picture I'm seeing right now!

jeff's picture

Which begs the question...

Do retarded people look normal when they come?

"You can judge the whole world on the sparkle that you think it lacks" - Dawes, When My Time Comes (

Bosemaster42's picture


Goodness Jeff! Have you no shame!? Again with the mental picture! Your friggin killing me!

jeff's picture

Full disclosure...

It's not my bit...

"You can judge the whole world on the sparkle that you think it lacks" - Dawes, When My Time Comes (

elph's picture

And to think...

All of these comments have come about because of our shared interest in swimmerguy being able to resume his favorite pastime (without distracting grimaces; with or without a friendly hand)... at the earliest possible moment!

If only CAG knew of his plight... that'd be a happy thought! :)

Bosemaster42's picture


Neither was 'never let your left hand know'-George Carlin. I think I saw one of his bits on cable before, I don't remember that one in particular. Very funny!
Well... Elph, he's had quite the week! Don't you think?

anarchist's picture

I don't make weird faces when I fap.

I guess I can just handle a lot of pleasure without really being significantly affected (not that I don't enjoy it, of course). Prostate massage is different, though. That just feels so good I can't keep a straight face. I'm also pretty good at telling people funny things without laughing, when I want to. Maybe I just have more self control.

jeff's picture


"Roger was more than right when he vowed that Pink Floyd, at least under his leadership, would not ever play stadium shows again. The music becomes fodder and the meaning escapes the audience, there is no connection between the band and the audience, "

I guess he got over that? ;-)

"You can judge the whole world on the sparkle that you think it lacks" - Dawes, When My Time Comes (

Dracofangxxx's picture

So I'm gonna get on this bandwagon...

And I estimate that my orgasm face is halfway between epileptic seizure, and me transforming into a werewolf.

So I'm just not gonna masturbate on full moons, for y'alls safety.
That's redick!

Tycoondashkid's picture


turn into a Werewolf when fapping on a full moon

does that mean your a BUSHwolf?