I'm so lost here that many things happened:
I went to Medellin and met with a few old friends and one of them was with some guy from Florida, he was always trying to impress me and I flirt a little.
Dad got hospitalized until yesterday and when I visited him, he got in quarentine and I had to stay in some neighbor house until someone could get me home and watch for me.
Today I was with the psychologist and we talked about my life and that my parents were cruel and compared me to a circus elephant that gets tied for 2 weeks without food and a little bit of water being hit every day until he obeys plus gets his moral broken and said that I'm the elephant whose moral was broken because nobody helped me (and the elephant) while my parents were bar with me and that they were the first ones to exclude me so I realized why I like to be alone most of the time and why pain feels good sometimes and it's because the pain got normal and when it's gone I start missing it and that I punish myself to get it back.
I'm comming out to my dad and idk if my plan is good, it's going to be something like going for something or maybe ice cream (the 2 of us) and saying "Dad I'm gay!" in a random moment.