So, basically. The ex.
I don't wanna get too wordy and emotional, so I'll bulletpoint.
-is doing exactly what he did last year
-is the angstmaster flex
-so he dumps me again
-I am happy
-he is angsty
-can't even sit at the same lunch table as me with his best friends there
-can't you just ignore me
-guess I was right
So honestly, I'm not THAT upset about the breakup, 'cause I know what's going on... same as last year.
Kid's got so many damn emotions, he really needs to sort them out.
I think the worst part is like, I really, truly sympathise; I want to help him, 'cause the kid's fukken clueless at what emotions he's feeling, why he's feeling them, and especially what to do about them...
Like I don't know. By his behaviour... I know he's got the feels for me still. That's easy as shit to see. And I don't wanna give up on the kid, 'cause I sure as hell treated him like shit before. I didn't dump him, sure- I just treated him like mega shit... when he was the best thing ever to me, for a long, long time... And I feel responsible, 'cause I know most of his emotion shit is all my fault 'cause of that.
Most of my pain from our breakup is feeling like I'm letting a perfect, great chance go away, when I see what's happening with him, and I know it's possible to be fixed, but that I'm losing that chance every day.
But I don't know. I don't give up on people I love deeply, and that's probably one of my worst flaws. Not knowing when to let go.
I just want to feel good enough for someone out there. Even for myself. And the father life goes on, the more I try, and the more I realize it's a pointless chase.