So i haven't posted on here in a loong time, but thats because i've been having a very interesting, hard year, and as tough as it'll be, theres a big part of me that just wants to come out (which i know will only add to the stress). I'm so tired of pushing these feelings away...it makes me feel numb and without emotion. I also eventually would love to have a relationship...but i cant be in an open one unless i came out.
My problem however, is i have no idea how to start...what to say? who to say it to? who i could even trust to keep my secret. I've had times where i want to say it to a friend, or my social worker, but when the moment comes, i completely freeze up and all these fears make me second guess myself. I always think its a bad thing to maybe be gay and i'm worried peoples views on me would change. I don't think i'm ready for a whole new identity change. Although, at the same time..maybe it's the best time for me to go through this? because at this point of my life i feel like i'm taking steps to finding myself...and maybe this is just another step? I dunno though..
some advice, and just people to talk to would be much appreciated