how and who to come out to?

artsguy's picture


So i haven't posted on here in a loong time, but thats because i've been having a very interesting, hard year, and as tough as it'll be, theres a big part of me that just wants to come out (which i know will only add to the stress). I'm so tired of pushing these feelings makes me feel numb and without emotion. I also eventually would love to have a relationship...but i cant be in an open one unless i came out.

My problem however, is i have no idea how to start...what to say? who to say it to? who i could even trust to keep my secret. I've had times where i want to say it to a friend, or my social worker, but when the moment comes, i completely freeze up and all these fears make me second guess myself. I always think its a bad thing to maybe be gay and i'm worried peoples views on me would change. I don't think i'm ready for a whole new identity change. Although, at the same time..maybe it's the best time for me to go through this? because at this point of my life i feel like i'm taking steps to finding myself...and maybe this is just another step? I dunno though..
some advice, and just people to talk to would be much appreciated



Bosemaster42's picture

For me,

For me, it would be who I'm most comfortable with. Parents are the hardest to tell,I think. I told a female friend recently, someone I've known since high school and she took it well enough. She actually couldn't believe it, at first. I've spoken to her a couple of times since and she's okay with it. It is a very big step. I've made the mistake of allowing my fear of the unknown to control my actions and feelings. It makes you feel isolated and alone. It doesn't have to be that way, and this site is a fantastic sounding board.

artsguy's picture


yeah..i dont think i can tell my mom, or close family right now. and i mentioned to one of my friends earlier in the year i was confused. but i think she was the wrong person to tell...not that she told people, but she just didn't make much of it. Not that i want a huge reaction lol. I'm thinking of telling my social worker that should be interesting. thanks for your comment is nice to know i'm not fully alone.