i'm off to wall street, don't wait up

swimmerguy's picture

“If you find yourself struggling with sexual temptations, including feelings of same-gender attraction, do not give in to those temptations. Be assured that you can choose to avoid such behavior. You can receive the Lord’s help as you pray for strength and work to overcome the problem. As part of this process, you should seek counsel from your bishop or branch president. He will help you” (True to the Faith, 31).

That kinda pisses me off as well as turns me on, slightly. It's from this Mormon youth pamphlet, about what to do if you're attracted to your same sex, and I guess I just think of like some cute Mormon guy, I know several, but it's like no, don't go to the bishop, come to ME, I'll HELP you heheheheheh.... :P
In kind of a creepy way, I guess.
Still, it's kinda sad that this is the actual information that undoubtedly thousands of gay kids get from their trusted parental sources.

You know, what's kinda funny is that my parents are pretty erratic drivers, like going 50 in a 35 zone or other small breaches of traffic laws, but when they're in the car and I'm behind the wheel, man, they're the best drivers in the world, and fucking preachy about it too. Godamn.

But the thing is, the fact that they were like really angry and anal about my driving when I was in the car with them, I'm pretty sure has made me pissed off enough to make me a less safe driver now, as I kinda have to give private "fuck you"s to my parents over being such big dicks.
Like my dad YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO COME TO A FULL STOP BEHIND THE LINE. THE LINE'S UNDER THE FRONT TIRES NOW. STOP BEHIND IT OR YOU CAN'T DRIVE is literally what he said to me...

So now I'm a little more spirited I have my license...

Another annoying thing about summer: fapping.
There's a lot of things that turn me on, some of them aren't even hot boys.
Like reading those Mormon things.
Or playing Civilization, and invading other cultures. That's really hot.

Or then again, when it's late at night and I'm watching a movie, and then all of a sudden a hot guy appears (although, basically all guys in movies are hot, so basically whenever there's a guy character from the ages of 14 to ~20) then I get a huge boner and I can't concentrate on the movie anymore, and I have to go upstairs, google a bunch of pics of them, then whack it, then I can go back down and finish my film.

Really. Annoying.

I mean, like Mattie Liptak, if you've ever seen him, or Justin and Austin from Ugly Betty, or one of the guys from Cube 2, or even that Smith guy from the movie Kaboom.

And not just at night but all throughout the day. When I get bored, then turned on, there's really nothing else to do. I'm not sure I've jacked off less than 3 times on any one day this week.
And I'm not really a sex fiend either, jacking off isn't what I live for, and I get a bit tired of it when it starts intruding in the rest of my life.
HONESTLY.

That's only kinda half serious, I do actually love jacking off, but still, it does bother me when it intrudes in on my other activities...

Comments

jeff's picture

Hmm...

There's a funny song about this topic in Book of Mormon:

---
"You can judge the whole world on the sparkle that you think it lacks" - Dawes, When My Time Comes (http://youtu.be/Z0FrcTX6hWI)

elph's picture

A+ for truly inspirational writing!

I'm very confident that many Oasies (and guest lurkers) were truly inspired by your self-assigned "academic" rites! In fact... I'd think it quite likely that many of the more-gifted students completed at least one and a half assignments before end of essay!

What a bummer, however, that you couldn't have provided individual, hands-on guidance to each acolyte in pursuit of his endeavors. :(

Bosemaster42's picture

Hah!

Maybe you should post your thoughts on a Mormon website? That'd shake them up a bit. So you have your license now? Good for you. I guess were all in danger now! I remember my father being much more relaxed with me behind the wheel, than my mother. He never said much, which I appreciated. He would point out mistakes, but never raised his voice. My Mother, on the other hand was always a nerve bag while I was driving. Funny, she'd be in the front seat with me and anytime I would come to a stop, I noticed she would hit the floor with her foot like she was braking. She still does that too! I had her in my truck last week, helping her get rid of some old furniture. I told her I was in complete control. I also told her your line of sight is different in a pick-up truck as opposed to a car. The nose of the truck is longer and higher off the ground, so it appears your closer to what's in front of you than you really are. I just tell her ' shut up and let me drive, I promise I won't kill us'.

anarchist's picture

I don't really get turned on during the day.

Mostly at night, when I'm listening to dubstep, or watching video game commentaries on my iPod. I guess I see hot guys around so often that my standards are higher than King Tubby and my penis has become very hard to impress. I don't even acknowledge hot guys anymore, because there are so many of them that they aren't really anything special anymore. I think this is going to continue until some point years from now where I'm not even turned on my anything at all because nothing that exists is good enough. I'm addicted to change, too, so the same stuff over and over again gets really horribly unbearable after a while.

But what does get annoying and interferes with my other activities is when I'm listening to dubstep that's so fucking amazing that I'm suddenly incredibly inspired to make dubstep. And that's happening right now.

elph's picture

Something seems amiss...

The problem is... I don't have the slightest idea what it may be...

But... I have great difficulty getting my mind around this: "I don't even acknowledge hot guys anymore..."

This just doesn't "compute." And... if true, instills in me a certain amount of sadness...

Recent full-physical including endocrine system?

anarchist's picture

I MESSED UP THE WORDING.

I ACKNOWLEDGE THEM, BUT I DON'T PAY ATTENTION TO THEM OR CARE ABOUT THEM.