Long journal tonight, I have a lot on my mind.

ElsaGabor's picture

Father's day was yesterday, as you all know, and I guess mine was pleasant to say the least. My aunt and uncle came over to join us for a barbecue, which was nice as I hadn't seen them for quite some time. I got to drink quite a bit, so that was definitely made the day ;)

My dad is really such a great man, and I couldn't ask for a better father. He has accepted me in every way and has never given up on me. I've put him through quite a lot growing up, I was never an easy child; I always had some problem going on that he usually somehow got dragged into. Yet he still loved me, supported me, and never had any shame over who I am. But our relationship has really only developed over the past 4 years, growing up I didn't really know my father. I really thought of him as someone who just went to work and yelled at me when I was in trouble, pretty shallow right? That was my general impression of my dad well until I was about 11 or 12; growing up he was a very aggressive, angry person who was overly concerned with money and my siblings and I being perfect. But he's changed so much over the years and he really is one of the nicest, most genuine persons I will probably ever know.

*I also would like to include a memorial for my phone which just fucking DIED*

So lately (completely off topic) I've been at a real crossroads with some people who I am friends with. They haven't really been the most amicable of people and I'm starting to wonder if I should just move on. It would suck as I've already lost an insurmountable amount of friends this past year, one including my best friend whom was like a sister to me, and it would suck to lose even more. But I'd rather have no friends than fake friends. What is really hard to deal with is how I went from being unpopular in 8th grade, to super popular in 9th grade, and back to unpopular in 10th grade. I guess because I partied a lot people perceived
me as some big party person (which is true in itself, I like to have a good time) but not someone who can be very serious, and very introspective. That's one thing very few people know about me, I am extremely intelligent. I may present myself differently, but I am no where near stupid, or dull, or anything of low intellect. I just don't want people to think of me as some big brainchild nerd like they did when I was younger. No one wants to hang out with geeks. But back to the point, I want to move forward and try to make new friends, but I kind of fear being completely alone. I spent a good 14 years of my almost 17 year long life that way and I never, ever want to go back.

I think I'll close this journal now. P.M. me if anyone would like, I'd love to chit-chat with you guys.
Later,
Elsa/Warren/Buubbles (Don't ask)

Comments

jeff's picture

Hmm...

Well, Bubbles, if you're surrounded by fake friends... aren't you already alone? Seems pretty no-risk.

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"You can judge the whole world on the sparkle that you think it lacks" - Dawes, When My Time Comes (http://youtu.be/Z0FrcTX6hWI)

ElsaGabor's picture

Ah I shouldn't have included Bubbles...

I have friendships that are genuine as of now, but some of them are starting to get questionable. But everyone's tight with everyone, so I'm worried that if I have a falling out with one, I'll end up on the outside.
Teenagers are bitches. :(

jeff's picture

Well...

Bubbles, I still think authenticity trumps other concerns.

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"You can judge the whole world on the sparkle that you think it lacks" - Dawes, When My Time Comes (http://youtu.be/Z0FrcTX6hWI)

ElsaGabor's picture

True that,

I shouldn't waste time on people who aren't worth it. Cause' bitches ain't shit.

jeff's picture

To be fair...

Bitches ain't shit but ho's and tricks, lick on these nuts and suck the dick...

---
"You can judge the whole world on the sparkle that you think it lacks" - Dawes, When My Time Comes (http://youtu.be/Z0FrcTX6hWI)

ElsaGabor's picture

Lololol

How does one respond to this?

jeff's picture

Umm...

Sometimes I forget that not everybody is as street as me.

That's where Bitches Ain't Shit comes from..

Cover:

Original:

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"You can judge the whole world on the sparkle that you think it lacks" - Dawes, When My Time Comes (http://youtu.be/Z0FrcTX6hWI)

ElsaGabor's picture

Oh,

see I got that from Nicki Minaj, unfortunately :(

jeff's picture

Ahh...

That's good then, school you on some old school jamz, Bubbles.

---
"You can judge the whole world on the sparkle that you think it lacks" - Dawes, When My Time Comes (http://youtu.be/Z0FrcTX6hWI)

ElsaGabor's picture

I should,

I've always enjoyed the old school sound, but I never really knew what any good artists were :/

hellonwheels's picture

definitely sad...

That you got that from nicki minaj...god damn hip hop/rap are in such a slumpo these days. I can listen to some of the new shit, but most of it is sooo bad.

Mental wounds not healing, driving me insane, i'm goin' off the rails on a crazy train- the ozzman

ElsaGabor's picture

I know,

but I can honestly say I don't listen to her regularly so, I guess I get a pass? :)

Meow's picture

Who says nobody wants to

Who says nobody wants to hang out with geeks?
They are awesome people.