Oh, what did I do last night, you ask?

radiosilence95's picture

Nothing much...Just SAW THE AVENGERS WITH BRITTANY. Mhm. Yes sir. She texted me, asked me if I was busy, and suggested that we see The Avengers. She brought her little brother with her though. So much for doing the old stretch-and-put-one-arm-around-her-shoulder trick. Just kidding. I wouldn't really do that. Still, we have yet to be completely alone. We always have friends around, or in last night's case, a little brother. I didn't really mind though.

Before we met at a grocery store to buy candy to smuggle into the theater (we are out of control rebels, obviously), she was texting me some troubling complaints about her boyfriend. Before said texts, I was forcing myself to be content with her dating this kid as long as he made her happy. But from what she confided in me, it seems that he's not making her happy at all. She basically told me that their relationship feels entirely one-sided, that he just doesn't know how to be a wonderful boyfriend and he pretty much sucks at being one.

I mean, the kid missed her graduation for fuck's sake. I wouldn't have missed her graduation for anything. If a swarm of alien-ninja hybrids unleashed an assault on our small town, I STILL would've made it to her graduation. Honestly, I went into petty romantic mode when she told me these things. I would be treating her much better than he ever could. He obviously takes her for granted. He takes this awesome, amazingly beautiful girl for granted. How? She's just...so amazing. How could anyone treat her so poorly?

I wasn't sure how to respond to her texts about him. I wanted to send her some long, romantic text but obviously that would've been inappropriate. So I simply said that I don't pretend to understand the complexities of teenaged relationships, but I do know that a one-sided relationship is definitely less than what she deserves, and that I hope he starts to treat her better. She thanked me for letting her vent, and I told her she could vent to me anytime about anything.

I'm mad now. I'm mad because this kid gets this awesomely fantastic girl and can't even keep her happy when I know I could. I don't care if I'm being immature or petty. My feelings towards her boyfriend were mostly neutral and now I just...really dislike him. Meh.

But anyway...about The Avengers. It was pretty damn cool, though it was painfully obvious that Black Widow was only used as a sex symbol as most female heroes are. Tragic. Though Scarlett Johansson is really sexy. Also, no matter how many aliens Thor battles his hair still stays fabulously perfect. I'm sure girls everywhere are envious of his godly, luscious locks. The special effects were breathtaking, the action was intense, and it was quality entertainment. Bare-bones storytelling no doubt, but who cares when you have million-dollar explosions in your face every thirty seconds?


Tycoondashkid's picture

i knew you'd like it

and you doubted me, tsk tsk tsk.

c'mon you Loved the Black Widow.

radiosilence95's picture

I really did enjoy it. It

I really did enjoy it. It was very entertaining in a fun, pointless kind of way. I'm not sure how Brittany felt about it though. She never really shared an opinion, other than saying that Thor's hair remains luscious throughout the entire film. Ha.

I definitely didn't mind seeing Scarlett Johansson running around in a tight suit for two and a half hours. She's very sexy. I just wish her suit would've shown more of her boobs...

MacAvity's picture


but don't you have to love it, in kind of a sick way, when the rival does prove to be unworthy, and you know you would be the better choice? Doesn't that feel good, in sort of an angry way?

I actually thought that The Avengers did a pretty good job on the whole objectification front, although the sex ratios were painful - what, three women in the whole movie, only one of them a major character?
Yes, Romanoff (did I spell that right?) was sexy, but she was also a character - dark and troubled past, sort of an atoner person, that sort of thing. And her powers were more than just kicking ass while looking hot - the way she can "interrogate" and manipulate people (without the use of any kind of phlebotinum, too!) is a very powerful, very female ability. She wasn't just a strong character who happened to have boobs, or a boobaged character who happened to be endowed with physical strength, which are the two categories most "strong female characters" fall into.
There was also at least as much objectification of men as of women. The introduction of Captain Freedompants? His butt. Specifically, his butt in very tight pants as he punches a punching bag with those muscles that they say some women find very attractive. Basically, everybody's butt got some attention, male or female. That movie had a lot of butts......

Tycoondashkid's picture


Thor, Ironman, Black Widow, Hawkeye, Captain America and Loki were all hot as hell

MacAvity's picture


And the camera spent its share of the time on each of their butts.

Actually, the character I found most attractive was the woman who followed Fury around - what's her name? Agent Hill? Not a major character, but she must have been significant in some prequel or in the comics or something else I never saw, because she kept getting camera attention for no discernible reason. I kept expecting her to be plot-significant later, because of that, but she never was.

Her butt got its share of camera time too. That whole movie was like, Point the camera at all their butts! Butts everywhere!
Not that I'm complaining....

Tycoondashkid's picture


She was important in Comics, Fury never got his own Films, you remember Agent Phil Colsen? the guy who loki stabbed and then he shot loki through a wall with the Prototype gun?

well he was EXTREMELY important in the comics as Furys long time friend, but did you know he was actually in his 70's when he died? they injected him with what they thought was Captain America's Seryum but it slowed the aging process to 10 to 1 years, and he was in Captain America movie too, hes the little kid at the end with the dustbin lib

radiosilence95's picture

I do enjoy it in a sick way,

I do enjoy it in a sick way, yes. But it's also very upsetting because it's devastating for her. She puts so much into their relationship and barely gets anything out of it. I hate to see her waste her time like that. I hope she comes to her senses and dumps him. He could never be worthy!

Yeah, there were no women in that movie. But the ones who did appear on screen were very nice to look at, I will admit. True, she was very sharp-minded and kicked plenty of ass. Unfortunately I don't know anything about her character, so the vague references to her past were lost on me. Was she in another superhero movie that I missed out on?

Oh yes, pretty much every main character is sexually exploited in some way. Subtly, of course. Hot guys strutting around in tights with the camera zooming in on their asses would be very pleasing for most girls. Ah, well. Something to please both genders I suppose. It was a fun movie. No real substance of course, just really fun to watch. And fun, pointlessly action-y and explosive movies are nice every now and then.

Bosemaster42's picture


You clearly seem to be the better choice for this girl. Good luck with that.
I saw The Avengers last weekend. I thought it was done very well. I have to confess, I used to be a comic book geek of sorts. I have a very varied and sizable collection. Scarlett Johansson is quite sexy, but she can't help it. I thought she played the widow very well,and in the comics she had a very sexy figure,as well. Your right though, Mac, there was another female Avenger that didn't appear in this movie-The Scarlet Witch. Also missing-The Vision. They left plenty of room for a lot more stories. Oh, all the male actors were hot, Loki especially. It is hollywood after all, which is why they left out the Witch. She's adorned in Crimson red & Black,wears a mask that covers most of her face and head. Her cape covers her entire body when she's not in motion. I guess they thought she wouldn't come off as sexy, but there's a good chance she'll be in the sequels. She was a long time Avenger. Very Powerful magic.

radiosilence95's picture

Yeah, I'm hoping they break

Yeah, I'm hoping they break up. Not just because I really like her, but because I want her to be happy. It seems very conceited of me to say that I would make her happy, that I deserve her, but I can't help but think that. Ugh. Layers keep being added to this situation and I don't like it.

Whoa...wait. The Scarlet Witch? Isn't she connected to the X-Men in some way? I had no idea she was part of the Avengers. I'm a beginner in the world of comics, so I don't really know much about this stuff.

I don't know about you, but I thought Loki was absolutely adorable. His face is just...cute. Like, I wanted to hug him and pinch his cheeks the whole time, even though he unleashed an army of weird alien monsters upon Manhattan.

Bosemaster42's picture

Good things happen,

Good things happen with a little patience. Although it sounds like your patience is being tested at times.
Oh yes, she was a regular character in the Avengers. Marvel did have a cartoon series. Maybe they put her with or she may have teamed with the Xmen, they kind of mixed things up a bit in the cartoons.
Oh I thought Loki was adorable too,but I would do more than just pinch his cheek sweetie. With my luck, he's probably straight though. He's got just enough evil in him, Hee,Hee.

radiosilence95's picture

I've been extremely patient

I've been extremely patient for almost a year now. It was put to the ultimate test when she told me these things. I mean, come on. I'm just sitting here on the sidelines, being super sweet and junk, while she's throwing herself at some dickweed who doesn't know how to treat a girl right. Blarg.

I've read somewhere that the Scarlet Witch was Magneto's daughter or something. Which would be a bit weird. She's a playable character in X Men Legends 2, one of my favorite games, so I dunno.

Haha! If I were straight I would definitely have a crush on him. I would think that if he were gay or bi there would be more about that on tumblr or 9gag or any sites that make Avengers references on a daily basis.