I love my dad.
But it doesn't always show.
It can't, really. He's gone a lot, working. He works every weekday pretty well from 7 to 7, and he spends a lot of the time he has at home, after his shower, either up in the office, doing I dunno what, it very well might be work related, or maybe porn related, or any other kind.
The weekends are better. He still works sometimes on the weekends, and then sometimes he's off on a bike ride, but most of the weekends he's at least here for 1 whole day.
Sometimes that doesn't matter, he spends time in the office too or I'm off somewhere.
The worst times are when he's gone on a business trip, and no one's told me, so I like ask my mom where's dad? and she'll be like Oh, he's been gone for a week in Washington DC, didn't you know that?.
It's slightly horrifying, I just don't notice.
But we still have vacations and some weekend days together, and that's pretty good. Like today, we went on a hike, the waterfall we saw was fucking furious, like that was a fucking lot of water, and a very impressive cliff it was going off.
But basically, I don't spend a whole lot of time with my dad, and I know I should. As well, a lot like my mom, the times I routinely have the biggest emotional connection with him is when he's yelling at me. My parents are both very good at yelling.
Not to say, of course, that a big part of this isn't my fault. I spend way too fucking much time on the computer, I kinda with I didn't have one. I spend so much of my day just reading random Wikipedia pages, maybe I should go on Jeopardy some time, with all the trivia I'll know.
And Youtube, too. Damn it.
And Civilization, fucking hell. I should just stop playing that game.
Anyway, I spend so much time cooped up in my room, he can hardly take all the blame.
And why I don't have a great emotional connection with him either, that's a lot of my fault too. I'm very aloof towards both of my parents, less so to my mom, but both still, and about that, I don't even know why.
I get along great with my brother, so it's probably just the kind of gulf that separates me from any people more than 3X my age...
My brother being gone, too. That probably has something to do with it, I'm a lot more open towards him. It helps me be more open around them too.
That's part of the reason why, now, basically, I'm like not very much caring about whoever knows I'm gay, whether they accept it or not, if they don't, fuck them, they're just a douchebag.
But with my parents, my dad knows, but that was an accident, and I'd kinda prefer he didn't. Even if they both accept it, and I think my mom will and my dad has, just them knowing that much about me just wears on me in the wrong way, and I don't know why.
But forgetting all that, my dad is a great guy; he definitely works a little too much, and neither of us have put much more than a token effort into a relationship, but he is a great guy. He tends to be reasonable, cheerful, he can really funny at times.
For all of his faults, somehow he's managed to still pull off being a great dad, and I was glad to have this day to spend with him.