Financial Independence

Uncertain's picture

The idea of becoming fully financially independent both scares me and excites me. It is very easy to become accustomed to a certain quality of life, or the "norm" and refuge that families or government grants provide, but such things are transient or are additional; they come due to the good grace of humanity, and I'm no longer a child. It feels like only yesterday, I am a teenager with a sense of entitlement to the income of my parents, and to an extent that perception of entitlement can unfortunately pervade itself through one's life. By all means I still consider myself a student, and by no means am I right now self-sufficient. I am full-time tertiary student, and being a student, that entitlement appears logically deserved, or at least historically continued, notwithstanding any real merit or sustainability. Some people leave homes at eighteen, some get kicked out, I cannot conceive of such (financial) isolation right now and nor do I think I could cope at this very stage, yet occasionally I like to entertain such beliefs and convince myself everything I've done in my life up to this point contributes ultimately to a degree of self-reliance. Yet upon solid reflection and introspection, I realise many things I do or have done exist in some sort of vacuum, yielding very little real utility except the amorphous kind, and unforunately nothing I really do is proportional to or representative of its external value. I try and deconstruct each activity, pulling apart the sum to find that its parts don't exist, I have neither learnt any real or ostensible skills that can be wielded or projected. Occasionally I find myself overwhelmed, and I find myself resorting to justifications; with attempts to reify the value of the things I do - but then something is lost - but I cannot ignore reality and self-reliance. I do not want to lose myself, but this must also be reconciled with the fact that I am not an atom that simply exists separately in a cosmopolitan mass. Liberty allows one to self actualise, but liberty also requires resources, and without resources such formal liberty is a phantom kind of liberty - to be free I must work.

So my goal is to become fully self-reliant next year. There will be obstacles. I will still be studying fulltime, in the long-term education will be the most effective means to my end, so giving it up would be an irrational tradeoff. I am also (only) twenty, and despite some people leaving home at this stage, I still feel very young and inexperienced in this world. But I must start accepting that to truly be myself I must also rely only on myself.

Comments

Bosemaster42's picture

There's always obstacles ahead,

whether your reliant upon others or financially independent. Working can help pay for things, as long as, it doesn't affect your studies. Trying to juggle full-time employment and college classes would be a tremendous challenge. I made the decision to drop out of college to make money, in retrospect, it was a poor decision. I may try to go back at some point, but my income helps pay for the house I'm living in and just general living expenses. You might try part-time work, if possible, it's a little easier on the schedule. You seem to have a pretty full schedule already, though.

elph's picture

Wow! Truly...

Such introspection... expressed with an eloquence rarely achieved by one who has just escaped the turbulent teens... university education notwithstanding!

You will become self reliant... but don't despair if your goal is not fully achieved by your rather ambitious target of 2013.