Free Write #1

radiosilence95's picture

I'm beginning to fail to understand heterosexuality. Really. It used to be that I could appreciate the cuteness and sticky sweetness of straight relationships, but that no longer seems to be the case. Something just doesn't register when I see a girl and a guy together. I know a lot of straight people feel the same way about gay people, but at least some of them can look at a gay couple and say, "Aw, that's cute."

It's really weird and I can't quite explain it. It's like...when I see weddings or something like that, I'm just like meh, unless it's two gay people. Why would any woman be with a man when she could be with a woman? Women are just so much better in every possible way. I know the answer to that question is obvious by the way, I'm just saying that even though I know the answer it doesn't really...compute with my brain. Sometimes heterosexuality is even annoying to me.

So, along that same line of thought, I think gay people should start insulting each other by saying, "You're so straight," in the same way that straight people say "You're so gay." Yeah. I'm gonna start doing that. "You stupid hetero!" as opposed to "You stupid homo!" So if anyone on this site happens to annoy me, I will hurl heterophobic (not sure that's even a real term) insults at you.

I feel that I would the "man" in a relationship. It always kinda annoyed me when people insist on assigning sex roles in a same-sex relationship, but I can understand why they would. I think I'm pretty much androgynous, not in appearance, but personality-wise. The social perceptions of how both men and women act apply to me. I dunno. I just think I'd be the protective one, the one who's waiting impatiently for my girlfriend to finish getting ready for a date, the one who holds open the door, that sort of thing. I would love that. Which is why I could never date butch-y girl. I could only really date a feminine lady. Also butch-y girls aren't attractive to me. I'm a lesbian because I like women, not because I like women who look like men.

I went antiquing today with my dad. I found this really cool issue of Life magazine from 1956 that has articles about segregation and other 50's stuff. I also grabbed a 1937 edition of Reader's Digest, a couple of Wonder Woman and Wolverine comics, and tarot cards for my sister. She wants to learn how to read 'em. When it comes to antiques, everything is cool to me, but I pay attention mostly to reading material, be it books, magazines, comics, etc.

Comments

Tycoondashkid's picture

hmm

Heterophobia doesn't even exist it was made by Homophobic bigots to name the "oppresion" hetero's suffer by gay people, its a stupid thing that doesn't exist, but i love the insults ^_^

i identify as androgynous too, i would be more like it in appearence if i was out with it :S

what do you think of Graphic Novels?

radiosilence95's picture

Well, I don't exactly dress

Well, I don't exactly dress like a really girly girl, but I don't really dress like a butch either. So I do kinda tend to dress in an androgynous way.

I've never really understood the difference between graphic novels and comic books. Are graphic novels, like, books with cool pictures basically?

Tycoondashkid's picture

i only dress as a "proper"

i only dress as a "proper" guy because im not ready to come out

Graphic Novels are Combo of Novels and Comics, imagine a novel, like so many hundred pages long, but instead of paragraph after paragraph its picture after picture

Super Duck's picture

I wouldn't say I'm annoyed

I wouldn't say I'm annoyed by heterosexuality or anything, but I can't really relate to it, so I tend to completely miss the point of the cheesy romance movies/novels/etc. that my hetero friends enjoy.

It's funny because I always thought I'd be the "man" too, but I am 100% a girl appearance-wise and mostly personality-wise too. My only real traditionally masculine personality trait is my interest in video games/technology. I don't really have an exact reason why I would be the "man" except for the fact that I feel like I should try to pursue the girl since the odds of one coming to me are astronomically low, and usually in hetero relationships the guy pursues the girl, so that would technically sort of make me the "man" if I were to pursue a girl. I don't know if that makes sense anywhere except in my head. Or maybe it's the fact that I'm just a regular girl whereas the girls who interest me are models and cheerleaders and other such super-feminine goddesses. Hahaha.

radiosilence95's picture

Yeah, I have a feeling I'm

Yeah, I have a feeling I'm doomed to be the perpetual pursuer in any situation. I guess I feel that what would make me the "man" is that I see myself as being the one who caters to her mostly. Like if there was a spider around she'd scream for me to squish it, I'd be the one to tell her she's beautiful most of the time, I'd be the one buying the flowers on Valentine's Day, that sort of typical relationship stuff. Not sure how to elaborate on that. Maybe I have a completely warped perception of how relationships work :P

stillgotlegs's picture

I used to think I could only

I used to think I could only be attracted to butch girls, but I think it's more to do with personality than looks.

I don't know, I like things to just be straightforward, and as blunt as they can be, and I've found more of that personality type amongst butchier lesbians than the more feminine ones.

And yep, tv programmes become way more interesting when they add a homosexual couple, even if the storyline is exactly the same as a guy and a girl. OH, and gay couples holding hands are the cutest things ever, but among straight couples it's a bit meh. Like, really? So mainstream.
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“Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?”

radiosilence95's picture

Feminine lesbians can be

Feminine lesbians can be straightforward too, I'm sure. And I'm the same way. I simplify things, I'm laid back. But I would think it would be kind of boring to date someone who's EXACTLY like me.

Maybe I'm just getting tired of heterosexuality being everywhere. TV, movies, in public, in books. Everywhere you look, it's mostly straight people, especially where I live. I get way too excited whenever I see a gay couple in a public place because it happens so rarely. Straight people bitch about us shoving OUR sexuality in their faces? In reality it's the other way around.

stillgotlegs's picture

Yeah, a friend was

Yeah, a friend was complaining pretty bitterly yesterday that she was completely outnumbered by lesbians, all talking excitedly about "lesbian stuff".

There was a really satisfying "Oh" moment though, when she finally got that that's what it's like to be gay... all the time. The whole of society half the time seems to be "straight stuff". Srsly, I love my straight friends but if I have to sit through another conversation about how "UHMAZINGLY hot omgomg" Ryan Gosling is, I might scream.

And mm, I realise that, just that it was more common amongst butchier lesbians. I always assumed that I had a certain type, and was pleasantly surprised when a few lovely uncomplicated femmes appeared in my life, and it was like, wow, that's hot.

Anyway, it may just be the sample I had tbh, I've had fairly limited contact with the whole community so far.
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“Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?”