Im Scared to tell them

InsanityTakesAll's picture

im bisexual, only a few good and trusted friends know. im scared to come out to my parents because we're Catholic, and i dont want to have to find a new church. i also dont want to be disowned. and as if im not scared enough, id have to tell them that i like guys more than girls. any suggestions on this?

Bosemaster42's picture


I was brought up in the same religion. I have since dis-owned the church, I deal with God on my own now. Too much hypocrasy with catholicism, if you investigate their history from the beginning until present day, you'll understand why I feel that way.
I don't think there's an easy way too tell your parents. I suppose it's best to just come out with it and get it over with. Of course, I don't know how they would react. I guess, if you feel they will dis-own you or throw you out of the house, it might be wise to proceed slowly. However, you might just be surprised to find they will still love you anyway.

radiosilence95's picture

If you really truly feel

If you really truly feel that they would disown you or kick you out of the house or something unreasonably drastic like that, I'd recommend keeping quiet actually. Because your safety and personal well-being are more important than coming out. Unless you have a close friend you can stay with, or money to pay for a place to go. I dunno. You could chill out somewhere until they miss you or actually use their heads and realize that they still love you and wanna take you back. But that could be risky.

If that was just an exaggeration, tell them. Be quick and don't beat around the bush. Just let it out. They might surprise you.

MaddieJoy's picture

I agree

with Radiosilence, make sure you have food & shelter and THEN worry about coming out. And even if you're fairly sure they won't kick you out, have a backup plan ready anyway. I did & it made me feel a lot more prepared.

"It's a helluva start, knowing what makes you happy."
--Lucille Ball

jeff's picture


Need more information to give proper advice. I mean, if you're 13 that's different than 19. Of course, your own well-being comes before telling anyone. You can do a lot of work towards accepting yourself and loving being bisexual before you have to come out.

Also, you only have to tell people you're bisexual. You don't have to handicap that you're 70% cock, and 30% girls. That's not their business.

Beyond that, welcome to Oasis...

"You can judge the whole world on the sparkle that you think it lacks" - Dawes, When My Time Comes (

Perhaps We Should Leave's picture


My name is Top Hat.

It's difficult what you're going through, but while we don't have enough to tell you what to do, as Jeff said, we can be here behind you. I invite you to message me anytime you may need something. I'm always here to give a helping hand.

* * *
You'll see him in your head, on the TV screen
And hey buddy, I'm warning you to turn it off
He's a ghost, he's a god, he's a man, he's a guru
You're one microscopic cog in his catastrophic plan
Designed and directed by his red right hand

InsanityTakesAll's picture

thanks everyone

for the advice

Meow's picture

You don't need to tell them

You don't need to tell them unless you really want to. and if you feel they're going to disown you or something, it may be better to take your time with it, If you're not sure whether to tell them or not, you can bring up the topic and gauge their reaction, or do it some other way. But again, only if you want to tell them at all.

BritannaForever's picture

It's okay

I know how you feel. Being bi-sexual can be hard, just like it's hard for all of us GLBTQ people out here. It even makes it harder when your religion speaks against it and the people you love could get mad.
Find a time when your parents are sitting with you in your living room or whenever you feel is right. Start the conversation with something like "I have something to tell you."
Then tell them you are bi-sexual.
If you feel too scared to do it by yourself, you could get your best friend or a trusted relative to be there when you break the news.
If your parents overreact be sure to let them cool off.
If they tell you it is just a phase and you'll get over it, tell them that it's who you are and you haven't changed inside.
Tell them you are still faithful to God and that you are just as scared as they are.

You'll get through it. Don't worry,
Jasmine :)

oldfoxbob's picture

ok so what?

Your bi, your gay, your str8? Personally I only care that you are YOU! You are the person you want to be and are honest with your self. As Jeff said your age has a lot to do with this type of decision about coming out to family and friends.
I suggest you sound them out first by saying something like;;;; I have a friend at school that told every one he is gay today. I still think he is a friend and don't care if he is gay or not. What would you do Mom ( dad) ?
If they both sound positive then go the next step...say your thinking of inviting that friend over some time would that be ok? If they are positive there then most likely they would except you. Ask if any one in the family is gay or bi that they know of...if they ask why would you want to know...say that you have questions you need answered from someone who lives the life style. You can always say its research for school unless your in a catholic school then they would never do that type of research as they are usually closed minded or so I have been told by Father Joe here in my town. ( and he is gay)
If your are 18 or older and you come out...your parents kick you out, you at least are legal age to live on your own, get a job, buy a car, go in the military to support your self temp until you get enough money to live on your own saved up etc. (thats what I had to do) Regardless, its going to be a hard decision to make but only your know deep down how your parents will react. Good luck OFB

Genius is not a sign of intelligence, but rather
that of common sense. Humor is the best pain pill.