It's sad that I enjoy being a damaged person? That my childhood was empty and barren? That I have harmed myself over and over the short years of my life?
Maybe it's just that I long to make up for all the years that my life was uninteresting and event-less, or so I can prove to myself I'm capable of emotion and feeling; That I can overcome anything, and show all the people who put me down that I can handle everything.
Or maybe to build a story, the kind of story that all the great stars had, of overcoming personal despair and wreckage to become bright, shining successes.
I want to be surrounded by interesting, beautiful people. I want to be in the center of the spotlight, I want to be famous, to make up for the loneliness that I've become so adjusted to. I don't know how, but I will.