It's 8 in the morning here and I should really be sleeping, because at eleven we leave for Colorado. The drive is thirteen hours long. We'll be staying in a hotel in Kansas tonight, then we'll head to Aspen. Last night I went over to Brittany's house and played video games for six hours and I didn't get back home until 2:30. Way later than I planned, but slaying zombies with a chainsaw is just so damn fun. Nothing is better than saving your crush from a hoard of the infected at one in the morning.
Once I got to bed I slept until 5 o'clock and then my legs felt weird. Restless, almost aching. So I gave up on sleep and here I am. I'm almost completely packed and I'm so very excited. I don't travel very much. We're avoiding all of the tourist traps and I can't wait to be surrounded by mountains and forests away from humanity. I'm not going to think about anything but taking in nature. I don't want to think about Brittany or school or my aunt or any of that.
I'm thinking I'll invite Brittany to go to Madness in Springfield with me. Evanescence, Chevelle, Halestorm, and New Medicine will be there, which is so fucking awesome. My dad's taking my sister and I and he says we can bring friends, and Brittany's been a far better friend than anybody else lately, so. Tickets are pretty expensive, around sixty bucks, and she's pretty broke right now, but I would be willing to help her pay for it as much as I could. Thing is, I don't want my dad embarrassing the hell out of me and she'd maybe have to spend the night at my dad's because he's probably not gonna be willing to drive an extra fifteen miles to drop our friends off. It'd just be easier. I dunno how that would go. I'm just gonna invite her anyway. And if she can't pay for it we can always do something else before I leave for my dad's.
I saw my aunt again yesterday. Dad insists I see her as much as possible because she's only got anywhere between two weeks and one month left. I admire her for holding onto her feisty sense of humor. I admire her for planning her own funeral and working on her will and taking care of things and being strong, because if I were in that situation I think I would fall apart. She's stubborn, that woman. My biggest regret is not driving to her house when she was still semi-independent and just...talking to her. Without my dad, I mean. I wish I could've known her better.
I saw a different side of my dad yesterday. He's visited her everyday since she was hospitalized. My grandma, her sister, is in complete denial about the whole situation and won't lift a finger to help with planning things, so my dad has taken the responsibility. There's a lot to be sorted out and he's handling all of it. I watched him take her hand in his and I watched him cry and I watched him shake it off quickly and crack jokes to make her smile. He was...is...fragile. I admire him too.
It makes me think about death and I don't like that. My aunt was baptized not too long ago and I feel like that's cowardly. She's never been religious and now when death is close she suddenly clings to religion just so she feels like there's something waiting for her. I don't know what happens after death. I don't know if we just decompose and that's it but I know that's too hard for me to accept. I'd like to think there's something afterwards. There has to be.
So yeah. I'm taking my laptop with me so I'll be keeping a travel journal here on Oasis, which means journals on a daily basis, so try not to get too annoyed with me. I might post pictures. I dunno.