What yould you do ?

NickBoy's picture

Ok , Im happy that there are a few people on here that care and try their best to give me advice , but im not miserable 24/7 , I just get very depressed and upset when someone brings the same thing that haunts me up . How would you deal with my situation , would you tell your family whats bothering you , or do you bottle it up until your 18 so you can be on your own and not surround yourself with them . Im also learning how to accept the blunt truth and I thank you all for telling me the hard truth that is painful to come and realize . Like when my cousens came over for a party after the situation , i stayed in the basement cause I knew exactly what theve been told and are making a joke out of me . Should i hide , or can you tell me something to really think of everytime im in this situatiom . It'll really help .


Perhaps We Should Leave's picture

I mean this

Hiding will cause more pain. Coming out and saying something will cause a great deal of pain, but it should be quick, like ripping duct-tape off of your mouth. If being joked about hurts you, that's all the more reason to confront it head-on. I wish you the best of luck, and if you need anything, you can always message me. I may be a bit caustic, but I do care.

* * *
You'll see him in your head, on the TV screen
And hey buddy, I'm warning you to turn it off
He's a ghost, he's a god, he's a man, he's a guru
You're one microscopic cog in his catastrophic plan
Designed and directed by his red right hand

Dracofangxxx's picture

Well, in my case

I haven't said a word about it. If you feel it's dangerous or detrimental to tell your parents early, then don't! It's much better to wait than to live unhappily in your family with the big elephant in the room, persay.

Sometimes, when things in my family get rough, I rely on my greatest friends to keep me sane. But for people to want to pick me up and keep me happy, I have to love them first, and be nice, and fun. So I would say really try changing your attitude and make a dear friend that you can rely on, and that can rely on you. It's easier than it sounds, though c: promise!

I would say, if you mess up or make people feel weird, apologize sincerely and then just move on. It's okay to make mistakes, as long as you learn from them and move on. I'm sure you're a great person! Just don't hate anyone that doesn't deserve it, okay? Not everyone's evil or mean, and I'm sure you could make friends easy if you allowed yourself to be friendly and open and not pessimistic.

ALSO HI I'M SHELBY C: I might seem intimidating, but I just can be really blunt sometimes. It's nothing personal, but having people be stern and honest is what helped me become a happy, healthy individual c:

I used to be alone like you and think everyone hated me and that life sucked. But I changed up my attitude and now I'm pretty popular and my friends all love me and it's great C: I sound like some weight-loss add but I'm sure there are ways we can help you not be lonely anymore c:
That's redick!

NickBoy's picture

<3<3<3 Thank you very much u

<3<3<3 Thank you very much u dnt know much it helps . Like , its hard . I have a ipod , no phone . And i cant just walk outside and enjoy myself like you can . Im not happy with my appearance . I dont get new cloths or shoes , and my mother never takes me to get a haircut . My dad is a dead beat and only takes care of the smaller children . Like . its hard when ur insecure and cant laugh freely knowing that your flaws are showing .

Dracofangxxx's picture

Oh, I totally get it!

My sis used to hit me and call me stupid for a lot of my younger years. My mom isn't too partial to me, either. Sometimes she kinda snaps on me over little things. I've gone my whole life not feeling good enough for anyone!

But hey- You're stuck being you, you're stuck with those clothes, and you're stuck with that face. Make the best of it c: If you hate your haircut, learn to cut it yourself! If you use a shaver with a guard, you won't shave it bald. There are always ways out c:

Thing you might forget though- Everyone has flaws and everyone feels just about as insecure as you. Even the ones you see smiling and laughing. Some have eating disorders, some cut, some are addicted to drugs, some are abused at home- they just learn to live life to the fullest and be happy, if even for a little. I used to think I was the ugliest thing to walk the planet. Then I got out there and met people- and found out they think I'm actually pretty!

Have some self confidence c: That's actually probably the #1 turn on for BOTH sexes, friendship-or-more-wise. If you don't like parts of you- change it! Or, strut with it and be proud. You are who you are, and the more you like yourself (not vain or super egoistic of course), the more others will like you c:
That's redick!

hellonwheels's picture

what she said...

shelby pretty much said the same things that were running through my mind. I do apologize as well, I intended to comment on your posts the other night, but was on a phone, and not near a computer.

I hope that you can sort things out with your cousins and family, as I know how much distancing them from your life can suck, and I hope you are able to come to terms with yourself as a potentially? gay individual at some point.

Also, I know how hard it can be to talk to someone, or to see a psych or a shrink about things like that @ your age, but trust me, it can help.

and even if you can't, or won't talk to a doc or shrink about your issues w/ your family and school, hey...we're the next best thing, in the words of BJ shea. lol. seattleites get it.

But on a serious note, if you ever need advice, or someone to chat with, there are people on here for you.

Oasis is a great resource.

If ya ever need to chat or feel the need to IM me, feel free.


Mental wounds not healing, driving me insane, i'm goin' off the rails on a crazy train- the ozzman

ElsaGabor's picture


Before you discuss this matter with your family, it might be in your best interests to really process your situation internally. I first came out to my parents at the age of 12 (which is quite young to even discuss sexuality in any terms) without really coming to terms with my own homosexuality, and it was a very big mistake. Trying to rush the delicate coming out process can be quite detrimental to you yourself and those around you. I certainly don't recommend waiting until you are eighteen to talk to your family, but stopping to take a mental breather to piece everything together would be the best thing to do as of now (At least in my own opinion of course :D)

Just remember that you are not alone, and that all of us have been exactly where you are. If you ever need anyone to talk to, please feel more than free to message me, or anyone else on Oasis :) It's a fabulous site full of great people and great advice :3