Dan Bejar makes no sense...
So I've been mostly absent here, and that's cause I've been on the East Coast for the past week and a half, and Internet has been spotty at best, and I've had other things to do.
No doubt, when we get back on Tuesday I will post far too much again.
Anyway, I had a question for you guys, do you guys ever want to have children?
My answer to a question such as that is usually, I have no fucking clue, I definitely don't want children now, and I have no clue what I'll be doing in my future when I might want them.
But as of now and my current plans, no how, no way, certainly not for 2 decades at least.
There's 2 reasons for that.
One, as current plans stand, I do not want to settle down in my 20's, I wanna do shit with my 20's. I think I'm probably going to college, but after that I don't know, I don't want to settle into a career fresh out of college.
At camp, one of the staff, 26, I think, told me of his brother, who's now like 40, and just settling down to his first real full-time job in his life, after a few decades of wandering and doing shit.
That's kinda what I was thinking.
You know that phrase, YOLO? I fucking HATE that phrase more than any other, because it's so true, and so important, You Only Live Once, and yet it manages to turn that all-important concept into a fucking insipid phrase that can be spouted by douchebag fratboys and high-schoolers to make people do stupid shit.
I'm not sure anyone will be ever able to comprehend the true meaning of that phrase (I guess it might not be true, I have no reason to believe in any afterlife, but one might exist... Still, I'm assuming this is the only life I have) until they're lying on their deathbed breathing their last breaths, and realizing that it's all over, their life is at an end and will have to stand at only all the things they've done up to that point.
And the last thing I want to do with my life is turn it into a routine. People get into routines for many reasons, but mostly because they're easy.
If you already know everything about everything you have to do, life is easy and predictable.
Routines are also efficient, not just at producing work, but at using up your life. I remember much more about non-routined vacations I took years ago than this entire past sophomore year.
That's because all my experiences this past year were basically the same, all I really have are some vague generalities about what every class was like, and the general vibe, but very few specific experiences, they all blend together.
And that's the last thing I want for this single life, so I have things I want to do. I want to hike the Pacific Crest Trail, as well as a new one they're making called the Northwest Trail, I'd like to complete an Iron Man triathlon, and not just feats of fitness.
I'd like to bike across some country, like Vietnam or some Asian country, probably.
I'd like to spend at least 2 years living in a poor country, probably an East African Swahili-speaking country.
I'd like to spend time hitchhiking or road-tripping around the United States, hiking and working odd jobs.
Those are just some ideas, maybe not all good ones, but I'll be able to think of many more in the 6 sedentary years of high school and college I have (maybe 5, maybe I'll 3-year college... I probably could).
And that last one I probably want to do first, and spend my 20's and perhaps a chunk, or even all of my 30's spending a few months or years on certain ideas then moving on, as a way of life.
And it'll be fucking exhausting, I know, but when you think of YOLO, does that really fucking matter? I want to die exhausted.
And there'll be time to rest, probably by 40 or so I'll have settled down into a relatively easy working life, or maybe keep low-grade moving around, maybe with not much money, but I think I'll be able to deal with that.
And after I retire, I want to keep myself relatively fit so I can travel the world once more, more leisurely, but still going.
So that's my general life plan As It Is, and it'll almost certainly change, life doesn't just lie down for you, I could get cancer or HIV or any number of horrifying diseases no matter how good care I take of myself, or just die in any other accidental way or a myriad of other things.
But as you can see, I REALLY don't want to be burdened down by a child, at least not until maybe my 40's.
What fun is a child?
Which brings me to number two.
Going off of my own memories and experiences and the kids at camp who were 8-15, I can say my opinions about the Average Child, some are great, some are terrible, but most are this:
From 0-2, you have an adorable, tiny person who's just cute in every way possible, and sometime a hassle because this tiny person is also very needy and whiny, but you enjoy giving it the attention because it's so cool.
From about 2-9, you now have a young child that is rapidly learning the ropes of life, and making a lot of mistakes in the process which just adds to the whole stress. These kids are still cute, but less so, and even whinier than the infants you used to have, especially since you have to actually make them do more complex things now. There are moments of cuteness, but most of it is telling them what they can't do, in the midst of their mischief.
Until that point, boys and girls are basically the same, but they split here.
Girls 9-13 actually have another flowering period of being basically cute, but gaining intelligence, and general kindness yet uncorrupted by the worries of puberty, boys and sex, and other insipid bullshit.
Boys 9-13 become a whole new animal, because now they have enough intelligence to move from their random mischief before to more calculated mischief, who will do anything for a reaction, and enjoy banding together for hordes of general discord.
Then, girls 13-18 go through a progression of learning about boys and chasing after them, and then chasing after all the fucking bullshit and worries of teenage girls in high school, popularity, fashion, puking in the bathroom.
Towards their parents they're either silent, or openly hostile, unless they want something.
Boys 13-18 transform slowly from the childish mischief of the previous age to a deep-voiced moodiness and silence. They avoid talking to or interacting with their parents whatsoever, unless they're trying to passive-aggressively usurp their authority, and spend most of their time trying to corrupt themselves as much as they can with sex, drugs, alcohol, piercings, etc., just to stick it to their lame parents. (I know this cause I'm in this phase now).
After that, the kids leave the house and only call on the weekends for some trivial conversation in a nod towards openness and gratitude towards parents, until they die.
That's the general pattern I've observed, and you're free to disagree.
Keep in mind I don't blame children for being the fucking bastards most tend to be (teenagers too), but they just are, and it annoys me.
So anyway, in answer to my own question, if I ever get children, it'll be in a long time, probably only 1, maybe 2, and hopefully girls, because the just pre-pubescent girls actually tend to be pretty cool.
And even if I wasn't gay and can't have my own kids, I'd adopt, cause the world already has too many fucking people, and there's just no fucking reason to keep having more for personal reasons when we can't even take care of all the kids we already have.