I caught wind of a disturbing statistic about abusive relationships the other day. Supposedly abuse is twice as likely to occur in lesbian relationships than heterosexual ones. I'm always wary whenever statistics like that are presented to me because it's so easy to misrepresent the numbers and such. If that's true, and I remain highly skeptical, then I don't understand how. Women as a whole tend to be less aggressive. I dunno.
I had a really disturbing dream last night and it stuck with me because I haven't dreamed about anything in awhile. I told my grandparents that I rejected the cowardly idea of God. They didn't speak to me, they wouldn't even look in my direction. I was something ungodly and disgusting. The venom of their shunning was so much that I somehow wound up at the building where I met my counselor before our sessions ended. But she wasn't there. A man, another therapist, said that he would see me. He told me she, my former counselor, had contracted an illness that slowly eats away at her flesh and makes her insane.
I found her address. I didn't want to talk to him, I wanted her. Only she would understand this. Her house was in shambles and covered in ugly, brown vines. I saw her looking down at me from the attic window. I can't even describe what she looked like, but it was horrifying.
So that was just a little bit unsettling as fuck for a number of reasons.
Last week I sent an email to a cute girl I found on a tumblr page devoted to the few lesbians of Illinois. She was stunning. I sent it on an impulse, tired of fawning over Brittany constantly. I just wanted to take a chance. Her reply was only two sentences long and basically told me that she was taken so I'd better back off. I didn't respond. But that's alright, because I discovered her personal tumblr page and she looks completely different than the picture she posted where I found her. I had a hard time believing it was the same person. So whatever. There really is no way for me to meet any lesbians until college. Seriously.
I've become quite the athlete lately. I'll be starting my bowling league again in September. I'm taking golfing a bit more seriously now and I'm asking for my own set of clubs for Christmas. And I've started working out. My mom bought us memberships to the YMCA so now I'm exercising. It feels really good. Plus I wanna build up my arm and ab muscles so I'm not a pathetic stick in college. My legs are pretty fit though. I'm so lazy. This'll be great for me.
Well, my plan to swim with Brittany before school starts failed. She's busy preparing for college and stuff. School starts tomorrow. I'm excited. Time will become precious again and I'll have shit to do and friends to see. I just really really wanted to see Brittany in a bikini one more time. I'm at my dad's this weekend so that won't happen. Maybe we'll have a hot streak in September. I hope. It's been so hot here that I haven't had to mow the grass all summer. Our lawn is dead.
One final thing. My sister sent Brittany's brother a message on Facebook rather bluntly asking him if the rumors about him being bi are true. What the fuck. They've never even spoken before and she asks him a question like that? She's probably dashed any chance of them dating but I don't care about that. I care about him telling Brittany and then Brittany getting pissed. I don't think that's happened yet thankfully.