Clash

Uncertain's picture

Man I'm getting old. I'm turning 21 next month. I can't believe it. I think I started writing here when I was 13? 14? Time really flies. High school seems like yesterday. I'm half way through college. I have a salaried job next year, I guess that day has come - it's almost underwhelming. I'm stepping into the real world and starting to see the nasty in it for yourself side of people. I'm starting to get too tired to party, I can hardly do two nights in a row. I am drinking at least three cups of coffee a day. I run around university and work and say "how are you-" without waiting for an answer. I'm always organising all these campaigns or events and I realise now I'm 'one of those people' who I 'recognise' around campus when I was younger. I'm confused by the concept of adulthood, there is no longer a line between me and 'authority'. In the past there was always your parents, your teachers or "adults" which you talked to in a different way. The other day - I saw on the mintues of meetings and they wrote "Mr. [name]" alongside all these other names of people twice the age as me; people actually take me seriously, not in the 'nice' way but in the actually don't you fuck up kind of way. How do I talk? How do I sound? Do I even sound different? I was organising a pretty big event on campus the other day and two members of parliament directly phoned me to discuss things and to be honest I was stunned. They asked "is this a good time to talk Mr. [name]". I said of course, and little did they know I'm just sitting in my bed in my underwear youtubing. I felt like so many things have changed. I am super stressed all the time and sometimes this is going to sound really depressing but I've almost forgotten how to relax and be happy. I'm not sad, I'm just tense all the time.

Comments

Bosemaster42's picture

I know the feeling well,

I'll be 21 in 18 days. Some friends are making a big deal about my being able to go to bars now. In truth, I've been going to a couple different bars for a couple of years now. I walk in with friends from work and I have never been asked to show ID. Not sure if that's good or bad, but I'm not really a drinker anyway.
It's funny how adulthood kind of sneaks up on ya, isn't it? I remember a seventh-grade teacher of mine telling us how time is going to fly when you get into high school. Son of a bitch was absolutely right!
You have what seems to be a pretty hectic schedule which is likely causing your stress and tension. Perhaps, a little meditation is in order.
If nothing else, the breathing exercises help to relax the body.

Uncertain's picture

In New Zealand you can enter

In New Zealand you can enter bars and drink alcohol at 18, so I've been doing that for a few years already as well. Now I'm a little sick of it. Such a waste of time unless it was a special occasion with the right people... but even then sometimes I just don't have the energy.

Not sure if meds is the right way to go - I always think they're more of a band-aid. Sometimes I just wish life was simpler, like when I was younger, things weren't easy, I had different problems, but in a way it was nicer - I was idealistic and principled and could feel. Now I'm just impatient with people, rationalise everything, am too pragmatic, and not as nice.

Bosemaster42's picture

Look closer at my wording.

I would never recommend medicating( unless it's smoking a joint) to anyone. I suggested Meditating to help with relaxation, silly.

Uncertain's picture

Must've been a Freudian

Must've been a Freudian slip...

Bosemaster42's picture

Heh,

No harm done.

jeff's picture

Wait...

Watching videos on YouTube in your underwear... or MAKING videos on YouTube in your underwear? This is a very important distinction that I need cleared up. ;-)

I hate to tell you, but if you think life moves fast now? Strap in...

---
"You can judge the whole world on the sparkle that you think it lacks" - Dawes, When My Time Comes (http://youtu.be/Z0FrcTX6hWI)

Uncertain's picture

Does it have to be one or

Does it have to be one or ther other?

Bosemaster42's picture

Depends on your answer,

If making videos in your underwear, I can imagine him scrambling to find them on youtube, Hee.Hee.

Bosemaster42's picture

Strap-On??!

Oh, Strap in. I see. Hee. Hee.