Fire, Hypothetical situations, and Death

javier's picture

Allow me to tell you a story that happened a few days ago.

As I'm sitting in my advisory (homeroom)class our teacher informs us that we will participate in a fire drill just in case there's a fire in the school. My friends and I start laughing at the idea because frankly not many people will react calmly to a natural event such as the ground shaking violently or the person next to you on fire. So we say a few jokes, laughing and enjoying ourselves. I note that since we are a relatively new school on a new campus that also happens to be built as narrow as possible. I can't go through the hallways without someone's sweaty armpit on my face or their hand all over my butt. Don't get me wrong I'd enjoy it if it was from say, the cute guys from school.

Anyway I also point out that hypothetically a real fire would kill us all because we're all trying to squeeze through the hallway doors. Aside from the fact that we'll hypothetically die, I don't want them telling us we'll hypothetically live. I think it's immoral that the teacher didn't tell us we may or may not live if there was a hypothetical fire. What I mean is if I die, I don't want to be surprised; it's not my birthday.

So we laugh and laugh while the teacher is giving instructions. Then, to everyone's shock, the teacher tells my friend for not paying attention that he doesn't care if she dies. I sat there surprised and my friend was speechless. But you have to admit it's funny. She stayed quiet for awhile still processing what he'd said to her.

Afterwards he starts talking about how we need to be prepared for situations like these that involve deaths, hypothetically of course. He recalls the time there was an earthquake which happened while he was in his apartment. The thing was he was way at the top and so his apartment was wobbling the whole time. He says it knocked him and his mom off their feet to the wall, forcibly. He thought he was going to die. And that's when I burst out laughing. Peers around me gave me the what the hell are you doing look. My friend next to me says that the teacher looked at us angrily and mean and stuff. Although I didn't hear, my friend says the girl behind me called me stupid. My reason for laughing? If he doesn't care about my friend dying, then frankly I don't care if he was about to die.

He was so angry at us that when the speaker told us to leave the class because there was a fire, we stayed instead. Before the speaker finished its announcement I said we're all going to die and was immediately shushed by my oblivious classmates. I was right. We all died because we stayed behind.


elph's picture

To whom...

...should our memorials be sent?

btw... What kind of internet speeds do you have up there (or, is it down there)?

lonewolf678's picture


I think it'd be way more hilarious to call your Fire Marshall and say that the school isn't up to code and should be inspected. lol

Who knows, perhaps your school really is a death trap waiting to happen. And in that case you'd be doing your school quite a service by having attention brought to the situation, the proverbial "elephant in the room" so to speak. Let me know what you think.

Tycoondashkid's picture

in case of fire while having sex

call the fire guys and sing "my sex is on fire" sorry i needed to

i always thought that about school "you will calmly walk out the back doors" who the fuck walks calmly in a fire!, i mean you would run for it! its like the worst safety logic ive heard of

MaddieJoy's picture

I always thought

that it isn't very logical to have everyone go to the same spot if there's a fire. My school takes us all down to the football field, which is actually fake so it's flammable. If it catches on fire then all 1500 of us die. If they were to put us in different fields and sections of parking lot, they would increase the chances of some of us surviving. Just sayin'

"It's a helluva start, knowing what makes you happy."
--Lucille Ball