I feel as though my boyfriend is a thorn in my side, I need to pull it out but I dread for the bleeding yet I ache for the day I am stitched up and whole again.
and just dump the guy if he doesn't make you happy?
there are plenty of people to date. don't stay with someone if they don't make you happy. that's just not fair to him.
Is it over dramatic? Surely you have even through a break up before... It's like you've lost yourself, like your bleeding everywhere but over time you heal hence the stitching up and you become whole again. And also he's not literally a Thorn in my I suppose that was a bit over the top, but still I don't want to leave then I'll have no one. I suppose it's unfair for him but I guess in away he deserves it I think, it's his bad karma for selling drugs.
And I HAVE been dramatic about them, but I've come to realize being dramatic won't make the healing go any faster. There are other fish in the sea. No one person is "special". If they don't make you happy and aren't perfect, move on! They will only ever be themselves, and you can't change that.
Also if you're in a relationship just to not be alone, break up with him anyways. You need to be happy being alone first before you can ever enter a relationship healthily.
to convince you he's not the 'one'. As Draco points out, obviously your not happy with him, so it's time to let go. Contrary to what you may think about it, relationship's have no real power to cause you physical harm, unless 'you' allow it.
"Uplift your inner nature and you will uplift your love-life"
- Vernon Howard
Thanks bosemater however I wasn't refering to physical pain was refering to emotional paiN, the pain you suffer after a break up. However thanks for your thoughts I realize he's not the one now however I am too stupid to let go
for not being more specific. Obviously, physical abuse is an entirely different subject. However, I was referring to emotional pain/feelings.
Many people, after a break-up, will fall prey to their own emotional conflict. Loss of appetite, sleeping for long periods(more than normal), apathy, internalizing the negative thoughts that always arise, lead to the emotional pain you experience. Have I ever felt this? Of course. I have learned(and am still learning) how to let these negative thoughts go. Watch these negative thoughts arise, if fact, observe all your thoughts, while neither praising nor condemning them, in an attempt to understand yourself and how your thoughts work. In short, you don't 'have' to surrender to anything negative, not anything.
A daunting task indeed this is. I've seen you write before about your boyfriend and I must say I don't think it's ever going to work. You've said before that he; lies, cheats, steals, and sells vice. You can do better! What would you need someone who can only hurt you for? Trust me, there are better potential boyfriends out there.
Do let us know what happens.