Rehabilitated Chasms

ElsaGabor's picture

I'm withdrawaling.

It's one of the most profound and utterly terrifying things I've ever come to experience. I've been recovering long repressed dreams by simply looking at things that remind me of it. I've had a vision of a lake with giant bonsai trees growing out of the water with geometric cherry blossoms on the branches, a lush forest being flooded, and (this one very frequently) images of some sort of town in Arizona or New Mexico.

I found out only a few weeks ago that DXM (which I abused for about 9 months) can leave you fried for about a year. This seems pretty true as this started happening in August, a year after I quit. On top of that, it's even further being fucked up by all sorts of chemical I ingested from Serenity, when I relapsed this last July.

So now, out of nowhere, I'm getting random flashes of lost memories and dreams, as well as having these fucked up drug flashbacks. On multiple occasions I've just been sitting in class, blink my eyes, and all the sudden I feel as if I'm tripping. Just yesterday in my English class, I looked up and the girl in front of me was fucking glowing. She started talking to me and I couldn't even attempt to focus on what she was saying. I just kept thinking she was moving too fast and that I needed to leave the room or I would explode.

It's fascinating I must admit, but it worries me that this stuff keeps happening. It doesn't happen terribly frequently, but I do notice when it does. I hope its my brain processing the last remaining chemicals leftover from my use, and it has been happening less and less, so god willing in a few weeks this will all be over.

Goodnight.

Comments

Bosemaster42's picture

Hey Elsa,

There's definately a toxicity level with DMX. Never tried it nor would I even consider it. It could be an interaction with the chemicals given to you in rehab, or your body is attempting to purge it. I certainly didn't like what I read about it. Hopefully, the psych-effects will end soon if it's been occuring less frequently. I wish you luck with that.