So I've been gone forever and I'm sorry.
There;s so much to update on, I don't know where to begin.
well, in Uni I'm taking 4 classes this semester (the minimum to still be considered a full-time student) and two of them I absolutely LOVE, one is pretty good, and the other doesn't seem so promising but I'm trying to force myself to open my eyes to the possibility that it can/will/maybe improve.
In the summer, I was taking classes which were 6 weeks each. In one of my courses, "Women and Literature: Controversial Women," about halfway through the semester and after great deliberation and anxiety, I decided to ask to go by Eli and male pronouns. However, there was't much time to really let that sink in because (1) it's a six week class and I said this stuff maybe week 3 or something, and (2) I introduced myself with my birthname.
This semester, however, of my four classes, there are 2 by a prof I've already had (let's call her Blondie), a class with a prof I've already had, (let's call her Morning) and then the fourth class was being taught by a prof I've never had before. Anyway, I can get into more details if people are curious, but I now go by Eli and male pronouns in 3/4 classes. I introduced myself from the very start of classes as Eli (except for that one class where I answer to my birthname). It's going so amazingly, swimmingly well.
I'm also going to the lgbtq* (etc) club on campus more...both events that they hold as well as just going to the club office and hanging out while the different "officers" have office hours. It's really relaxing to know that I can go there. And it's quite positive (mostly, anyway).
Let's see what else can I catch you up on? (Sorry to end with a preposition).
Yesterday I "passed." Which was awesome.
And I'm now 21 weeks clean. Each day is afight, a struggle and I don't know how I've gotten to this place, to be honest.
More is new but I'm overwhelmed with what I could/should say that I don't know.
Oh and I'm really struggling tonight and have been struggling a lot since I last went to my doctor. Anyway, could use some cheering up. I'll leave it at that and not go into details of what's going on.
Miss you all and hope you dont hate me for leaving and coming back repeatedly.