But We Always End Up Together

swimmerguy's picture

I was reading in the newspaper today about 2 opinion pieces, since gay marriage here in Washington was recently passed by the legislature, and then a referendum to overturn it, and one of the pieces was in support of the referendum, and the other against it.

See, I just don't understand this shit.
That one that was for the referendum was saying like how it affects everyone, because the definition of marriage would be redefined for everyone as not "husband and wife" but "Spouse 1 and Spouse 2".
I have a really hard time with that, cause it's like, well, you get to keep your marriage, you have to do nothing, your marriage is solid, cement, it's not like expanding the legal definition of it is doing anything to you, it's just letting other people do the same thing.
As well, the guy mentioned "religious freedom" but didn't really go into it, but the thing is, some churches would just love to marry gays, and refusing to let them do so is restricting religious freedom. I don't think we should make all churches have to perform gay marriages if they don't want to, but people don't seem to realize about freedom and liberty that they actually mean that the people you don't like get to do things you have a problem with, and you get to do the things they have a problem with, because it goes both ways like that.


Anyway, it's been another boring weekend. This time my whole group of friends went to the Homecoming football game, something I have not the tiniest little shit of interest in, so I just left.
Then, yesterday and today, people were being lame.
First of all, I have 3 AP classes (I didn't take a 4th because the honors English is taught by some super awesome teacher) and yet somehow, I'm not drowning in the homework everyone's always complaining of, and my grades have been pretty stellar this year.
I'm not sure if people just don't want to hang out with me, or if they're perfectionists, or if their classes just happen to be a lot harder than mine, or if I guess I'm just some super-genius when it comes to homework, but everyone keeps talking about these hours and hours of homework that knock them out for the entire day to hang out, and it makes me suspicious.
That, and there was the Homecoming dance.
I didn't want to go to that, for a vast array of reasons.
1. I wouldn't have a date, which would be fucking depressing. I mean, no guy I know would accept me, and I could like ask a girl, but then I might as well go with friends, since I'm obviously not dating girls here.

2. It's fairly dull anyways, people sit around and it's awkward and no one dances, at least in my experience, until you leave and it sucks.

3. It's fucking expensive. Now, I don't know what the custom would be for a gay couple, if, God willing, I'm ever half of one, but for straight guys, at least, the costs really rack up.
First there's the tickets, the guy usually buys the ticket for the girl, which for 2 tickets is $34.
Then there's the obligatory corsage, the little flower the guy's meant to buy for the girl, that costs another $30.
Then there's the tuxedo rental/buying, depending on if you already have one or not, and whether or not you're trying to match your tuxedo to the girl's dress, and I don't even know how much that costs, I suppose it depends.
And finally, the guy usually pays for dinner, which can be however much as you want.

In other words, costs can easily run up to $100 for the night, for the guy, and the girl has some costs as well, though not quite as much, of course. (I don't understand that. I know the whole thing of masculinity and how delicate all females necessarily are, but even under that bullshit system, why would it be assumed that the man must have more money than the female, especially if they're both teenagers and possibly just using their parent's money? How is that fair? Luckily, I'll never have to deal with that, I guess)

And there's other things, going off of that.
For example, the corsage. It reminds me of one thing: bacon.
Why bacon? Because think about it.
Bacon, with its partner in crime, eggs, is usually eaten as a breakfast food.
Not only that, but bacon is traditionally known as that big cultural joke. Everyone jokes about how good bacon tastes, and comedians can use that, if they're smart.
But why? Lots of foods taste pretty good, like I love a good lentil soup, but there's lots of foods even like hamburgers and hot dogs that a lot of people agree are good, so why is bacon that one food that everyone just jokes about being addictive and delicious?
In short, because a company that sold bacon told us so, and the culture has accepted it ever since.
There are other similar products, like Valentine's cards, that are popular and well accepted solely because a company marketed them well until they became culturally associated with one thing.
Valentine's Day is now associated with cards and candy, breakfast with eggs and bacon (or maybe pancakes, another odd taken-at-face-value breakfast food), and that's constantly reinforced because we all agree. If everyone but you thinks something, you're more likely to think that thing, and if you think it, than everyone else is more likely to think it too.
It's a self-fulfilling prophecy, and it's made some wily companies a fortune.

So, back to the corsage. Why is a fucking flower $30? Why does everyone even get the flower?
Basically, because it became a culturally accepted.
I admit, I don't know exactly where giving out corsages to the girls at dances became a thing, but I guarantee you it did, at some point, because of some wily marketer.
And that's the thing. Guys are expected to buy the $30 corsage, and the thing is, the girls don't even appreciate it. It's just some expected thing that people just do, that doesn't really have a rhyme or reason, and that people get upset if it doesn't happen, like saying "bless you" to a sneeze.
The only difference is: saying "bless you" doesn't cost 30 fucking dollars.

Frankly, if I had a fantastically wonderful boyfriend, which I suppose is someday possible, if unlikely, I would prefer he not do anything like that.
Like if I was a girl, I'd prefer he doesn't just buy me a $30 corsage because that's what he's expected to do, and I'd wear it and not appreciate it.
I'd appreciate him for the experiences he could give me. Experiences that might be free. Rather than just doing some of the expensive, tired old shit that everyone else is doing, rather than taking me to Homecoming and buying me a corsage, I'd prefer he take me somewhere new and give me an experience, and it doesn't even cost much.

For example: We live, in our area, within walking distance to a ferry that will take you to a nearby Island (that I won't name). The ferry, if we walked there, the 2 of us, would be $3.75 each way, each person (total of $15.00).
On this particular Island, they have fucking free public transit, the buses are fare free.
That means, say, in an ideal world, if I woke up on a boring weekend day, and my hypothetical boyfriend shows up and is like hey, let's go to *** Island! It's only $15 round trip! he could take me on some interesting mini-adventure on this Island for a day, for a cost of $15, plus any food or anything else you might buy, possibly nothing if you don't buy anything and take food with you, which is HALF THE FUCKING COST OF JUST ONE EXPECTED AND UNAPPRECIATED CORSAGE.
Now that's what would make me love someone, not some unappreciated, expected tribute, bought only because culture demands it and he can't think for himself.

That's what made me so sad about all the people going to homecoming and leaving me alone, cause there are adventures to be had out there, nearby ones, cheap ones, that I'd rather not do alone, and yet everyone else was busy enough doing the same thing they do every year and that requires huge amounts of money and nothing else, no creativity or originality.
But what's the point of pining for a nonexistent perfect boyfriend, eh?
Stick to reality.


angel syndrome's picture

You could also make your own

You could also make your own corsage with wire and wildflowers, which would be significantly cheaper and far lovelier. There are flowers everywhere, there's really little need to pay upwards of 30$ for them...

I'm sorry that you're sad about not having someone to go on adventures with, but I think that going on adventures on your own is potentially not half-bad, either! : )

swimmerguy's picture

Thank you

If you've ever read Into The Wild, I've wondered what it would be like to take such a solitary journey like that for so long, years.


Dracofangxxx's picture


I would have stuck with you, but you ditch every plan I ever try to make with you at the last second... So if you feel like people don't want to hang out, maybe that's why. hmm?

#2 neither of us bought corsages. I had to pay a whopping 5$ in tips for everything with the dance. Me and Miche danced 80% of the time and sat outside talking and holding hands the rest.

#3 I basically just stole roses out of my front yard real slyly and gave them to her. She was very very very pleased. 0$, again.

It's much cuter and more efficient to find your own ways :P

That's redick!

swimmerguy's picture

No worries

believe me, I understand that you were worried, I've pussied out before, and the night before with no plans made, beautiful hot chick asks you to homecoming, I understand why you said yes :P


elph's picture

My normal breakfast...

No bacon, no other meat, no eggs, no bread product... just cooked grain, fruit, fat-free yoghurt, and that obligatory couple cups of freshly brewed coffee!

Bosemaster42's picture

When you buy flowers,

you're essentially paying for a florists' creative skill in making a corsage.
I'm a gardener, so I have tons of flowers on my property, in season of course, for me to choose from. Making a corsage or simply a flower arrangement is quite easy. It always helps to know what the person's favorite flower is. Roses are so overpriced to begin with, and they are not my favorite flower. I hate goddamn thorns! I understand your dilemma, though.
The Island ferry ride sounds like more fun than a homecoming dance.
AHH. Bacon. Sinful because it's so fatty, but oh so good. It's not just for breakfast either babe, I use bacon lots of different ways when I cook.
Of course, not every day. It should be eaten in moderation.

swimmerguy's picture


Why pay for the florist's skill? It'd be more personal if you did it yourself, not to mention cheaper.


Bosemaster42's picture

I was actually suggesting that.

If you do it yourself it's more original. Like I said, I usually have enough flowers throughout the spring and summer to make things like that myself. You were bitching about how much it cost to buy a corsage, I was telling you why it costs that much. Flowers are an industry. Retail sales always cost more. Most florists get their flowers from large greenhouse growers via the wholesale market.

jeff's picture


I don't think you have all that much to worry about as far as eventually having a fantastically wonderful boyfriend.

Seems highly likely.

"You can judge the whole world on the sparkle that you think it lacks" - Dawes, When My Time Comes (http://youtu.be/Z0FrcTX6hWI)

swimmerguy's picture