Long Week

jazzybchick's picture

This week was so long. First off, my great grandpa passed away last weekend and last Monday, we were going to go to his funeral. Then that Monday morning my mom got a call that my cousin Frances had died in a car accident.
(What happened.)
My cousin works as a prision guard far from her home. She works graveyard shift (night). Her friends and Frances had just finished work around 6am. They all carpooled to a parking lot not too far away. Frances got into her truck and starting driving towards the 14 freeway. She came to a stoplight and the light was green. Of course she started passing the intersection. A man in an SUV decided to take the light. He was going really fast. No one was sure but it had to be over 60mph. The guy was drunk and he hit the drivers side of my cousins truck. She died instantly. Her truck went flipping. Soon after the accident, police came to arrest the guy. We still don't know when the trials are but you better believe I'm going. That freak is going to be guilty and die in prision.
I wish she'd come home. I want it to be just a dream. I miss her laugh, smile, and beauty. I looked up to her. Now I all I have are my memories. I'll never forget you cousin Frances. I love you. I hope your watching over us. This isn't a goodbye. It's more of a "see you later." <3

Comments

anarchist's picture

Sounds like you're too hateful to the one guy.

Does he really deserve what's practically a death sentence?

elph's picture

Think about it!

Did you really intend to ask this question?

What would you suggest?

(1) Her forgiving the drunk; accidents just sort of happen? Or,

(2) Consequences other than incarceration for the drunk responsible for the death of another?

anarchist's picture

Maybe 5-10 years in prison.

But life is just ridiculous. Life sentences should be more for serial killers, mass murderers, and other felons of the same severity.

elph's picture

I'm obliged to agree!

The penal system should have rehabilitation and education as its main goals.

We're so stupid! But... that's religion for you...

jeff's picture

Well...

The prison system is now a private for-profit system. Those are not the goals anymore.

---
"You can judge the whole world on the sparkle that you think it lacks" - Dawes, When My Time Comes (http://youtu.be/Z0FrcTX6hWI)

elph's picture

Uh...

Were they ever?

Also... note that I said "should!"

jeff's picture

I think...

There was more of that before it became a private industry, and entire companies exist to serve thousands of hot meals per week, and laundry service, etc.

In the older days, the inmates actually maintained the grounds and had to have jobs, but now it's just sitting around while the GEO Group and others milk the system and run it like a bad hotel on taxpayer's money in perpetuity.

You might be spending too much time with anarchist and Tycoondashkid on here, though. Not every comment is meant to be analyzed for some perceived slight.

---
"You can judge the whole world on the sparkle that you think it lacks" - Dawes, When My Time Comes (http://youtu.be/Z0FrcTX6hWI)

anarchist's picture

The company that feeds the prisoners

gives the same food to students at my school. Yay!

radiosilence95's picture

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you

the new Tycoondashkid.

anarchist's picture

Oh my god.

I just noticed this.

elph's picture

You thought I was searching for "a slight?"

Please... let's not go there!

Your "analysis" of my comment is totally erroneous; but... believe what you wish!

Nothing was further from my mind; it was strictly a rhetorical comment... and was not intended to be understood as a personal indictment. :(

And as far as "too much time"...

Bosemaster42's picture

Oh sweetie,

I'm so sorry for your loss(both). I hope the drunk driver gets the maximum sentence allowed. It's very easy to hate him, much harder to forgive for such a senseless and careless act. Unfortunately, he won't spend his life in prison.
But, he will have to spend the rest of his life knowing he killed someone and that will be a life-long psychological sentence. Be strong.

jeff's picture

In my experience...

It is sort of misguided (but normal) to pin your closure on the trial and sentencing of the drunk driver. But, I can tell you already: the sentence will be too short. And your cousin will still be gone. The two things can never line up properly. And after all of that, you're likely to discover is that you linked your grief to that outcome, and after he's in jail, you'll still have to deal with everything.

Unless he was on probation already, or had two strikes or something, he will not spend life in prison.

So, however you can, try to focus on grieving for your cousin and really decouple her loss from the circumstances of her death. You would still need to go through this process if no one was involved in her death. So, try and heal and accept it as much as possible as its own thing.

And, when the time comes, of course, honor her by making sure the driver is held accountable for his actions. But if he got life in prison, if he was killed in a fight in prison, or anything else, it will not help contribute to you gaining closure about her death.

I was a newspaper reporter and I covered SO MANY trials like this, and you can see the victim's families lined up and, in that moment of sentencing, expecting some weight to be lifted, only to realize it doesn't happen. Closure never hinges on external outcomes.

So, honor her life, write down everything you loved and will miss about her, think of things you hope to embody from her as how you live your own life, and be thankful you got to have her in your life as long as you did. Those are way better uses of your time and your healing.

I'm sorry to hear about your loss...

---
"You can judge the whole world on the sparkle that you think it lacks" - Dawes, When My Time Comes (http://youtu.be/Z0FrcTX6hWI)

jazzybchick's picture

There's no such things as

There's no such things as accidents. If there were such things, then he accidently got drunk? No he chose to. He decided to get in that car. He chose to be stupid and drive under the influence. You'd be just as angry and upset if it was someone you loved. The sentence is alot longer if there are more people there during sentencing. I will not forgive some loser drunk for anything. He didn't apologize for taking my cousin's life so why should I? Why would I be like "Oh I forgive you for killing my cousin. It's totally fine." No! That's stupid. A life for a life. He deserves it. He broke our family and took a mother, sister, cousin and daughter. I believe the death penalty is for mass murders, serial killers, and other crazies. This guy should get a life sentence because it's not fair that he gets to live. I don't care about views on that. Can't change my beliefs. I can honestly say that most people are really heartless when they're an outsider. So all those people with those stupid comments... screw you. I have every right to be mad at that guy.
But Bosemaster42, thanks. I appreciate it. And maybe he'd get a big sentence. I can only hope things go right. And justice shall be served. -Jazzy<3

jeff's picture

Well...

Although you can have many people speak at the sentencing, as far as the loss he inflicted, etc., it will not greatly affect the length of the sentence, which is typically controlled by sentencing guidelines. If anything, it could ensure the judge drifts toward the higher end of things, but that's about it.

---
"You can judge the whole world on the sparkle that you think it lacks" - Dawes, When My Time Comes (http://youtu.be/Z0FrcTX6hWI)

jazzybchick's picture

Like as I said, I don't care

Like as I said, I don't care about that. It isn't guidelines. It's the judges opinion too. Screw guidelines. They're stupid. The end. -Jazzy<3