Hi again everyone! So people have been asking for me to write about my girlfriend and I. Like our problems and how we got through it and everything. Id like to say that everyone overcomes/solves things differently. It depends on the people and the issue of course.
One big problem we are going through at the moment is telling our parents about us. Her mom knows about me though. I hope to meet her someday. She's in the airforce and is gone most of the time.
Let me rewind to a couple of years ago when I came out to my mom. I was in her room and it was February 28, 2011. I remember because it was my friends birthday. My mom and I were watching tv late at night. I told my mom I needed to talk to her and tell her something. I was shaking uncontrollably and I kept stuttering. It's not easy to say it. Believe me. But I finally told her I liked girls and wasn't exactly sure if I was bi or lesbian. At first she looked at me and nodded her head. She said she wasn't going to treat me any different and that if I ever needed something, that I could just go to her. I felt great after I told her and she didn't treat me different. Everything was just the same as before. Except my mom knew my secret.
I remember seeing my therapist one day months later and my mom came in to speak to me and my therapist. She told my therapist that I had an attraction to girls and if she should wait for my phase to go away. I was shocked that my mom said that. I thought she understood and was accepting but she thought it was a phase. That really bothered me.
Now fast foward to now. My mom is hoping that my "phase" is going away. She's always asking me if I have a boyfriend or if I like a guy. Everytime she asks, I say no and she looks at me with disappointment then walks away. I think if I tell her about my girlfriend, that she'll make me leave her or keep me from seeing her. I don't want my mom to be disappointed in me. I want her to accept me. I want her to feel happy for me. I have yet to tell her about my girlfriend. I want my mom to get to know her first. Then i'll decide on when to tell her later.
I'll tell you a little bit about my girlfriend first :) her name is Caitlin. Her birthday is February 26th. She's short (like me) and she's blonde. She has a beautiful smile. White, straight teeth (I have a teeth problem. Obsessed with them -.-) She has tiny hands which fit perfectly with mine. She has amazing eyes! They change color. They are sometimes blue.. sometimes green.. sometimes yellow. Mostly yellow when she wakes up. Crazy right? She plays soccer and is captain. Her number is 21 and she is a greatttt player. She's my bestfriend, my better half, my love, and my soulmate. She has an accent and I love that :3 she's fit of course. Oh and psh I cant forget.. I LOVE HER <3 :) I can't think of anything else to put right now. There's so much but i can't find the words. If you have questions just message me :)
Another problem we've had is jealousy. I think it happens to most couples. It was my fault. I didn't like how this one girl was ALWAYS talking to Caitlin. At first I just thought she was a good friend. I couldn't shake off the fact that they talked alot. In my mind, they talked more than me and my girl talked. I got jealous. She was always talking about her when we played video games together. We'd play online... me and my house and her at her house... I got frustrated. Everytime her friend invited her to play, my girl would hesitate to keep playing with me. I tried being a good sport and told her she could go if she wanted to. She would thank me and leave to play with her. I was hurt. Eventually I told her about how I felt and she got mad at me. I didn't know she'd get mad at me the way she did. But in the end she said she would stop talking to her if that made me happy. I said she didn't have to do that. I told her she could keep talking to her but I just wanted her to spend time with me. She ended up drifting away from her friend. I guess it only lasted a little while. We never talked about her since. Yes i understand I was a huge jerk about it. It hurt so much though. I just wanted her to laugh with me the way she laughed with that girl. I was selfish and greedy, I know. It's done with and it hasn't happened since.
I realize this is wayyy long and I apologize if I got you bored but people asked to know some problems. There has been more obstacles but I'll tell those some other time. I feel like writing more and more but I will stop for now. Leave comments or message me. I don't want any MEAN comments on my journal -.- Thanks for reading.