For the past two or three days I have been trying to be kind, undoubtedly and indefinitely. Trying, really, to be giving simply because I can and to expect nothing in return. I've always felt like there were so many of me inside this body but none of them that I was really able to like, but through kindness and empathy towards other people I'm starting to feel as though it may be possible.
(It sounds really dumb but I've been trying not to think ill things about myself and it actually ended up working for a full day?)
On a personal level, things are going well in this sense. I've had a lot of important realizations about myself and the kind of person I want to be, and this is good because I'm getting some sense of direction.
I'm still very unsure about what to do in terms of my 'romantic relationship', however. I like him a lot without being sure why and I can name several reasons why I shouldn't like him off the top of my head: he's mischievous, none of the money makes is earned legally (or ethically), he can be downright arrogant and disrespectful at times. He does, however, make me see the world in a better way and inspires me to be a better person and he truly cares for me. It's unfair to like someone only for the parts that are easy to like, and I've got a lot to learn from the world.
Things are good, I'm having some trouble really focusing on school due to my schedule (only two, very long days a week), but I'm confident I'll manage to do well.