October 20, 2012

javier's picture

I was watching an old Woody Allen movie and in the end he talks about how relationships are absurd and we keep going after them even though it usually ends with heartbreak. But he thinks it's because we want the eggs. And I agree. Since I've never been in a relationship I assume it's mostly taking by both people. Also I happen to think that we just use each other in relationships to save ourselves from loneliness and misery. What I'm trying to get at is we shouldn't take them seriously unless it's actual love which only 10% of people experience based on a study I just made up.

So what is it about relationships that makes me uneasy? (From now on I shall refer to them as ships because relationships is too long to spell.) Well I have a feeling I might become obsessive with my partner in crime because I am extremely lonely and sad and the few contacts I do have with humans make me feel very happy. The other day an older gentleman said good morning young man and I said good morning, too. Yes that simple exchange made my day. How pathetic. Also I probably would hate to spend a day without him or spend a day with him that is incredibly boring. Ships are weird for me.

On this subject I am still a tad naive but I have watched enough romance films to know how it works.

This month I've been reading The Old Man and the Sea and I really like it. I especially love how Hemingway can use such simplicity in his story to convey a complex meaning.


jeff's picture


I *love* Annie Hall.

I think there is more of a communal aspect to relationships, that doing things together makes us happier than doing the same things alone. Not that we're distracting ourselves from the misery, but that the bond somehow makes the mundane not as miserable.

So you're not using someone else for this purpose (as though it is a one-way thing), but rather you're being together alters both of your lives for the better.

"You can judge the whole world on the sparkle that you think it lacks" - Dawes, When My Time Comes (http://youtu.be/Z0FrcTX6hWI)

elph's picture

I fully subscribe to jeff's observation:

"...doing things together makes us happier than doing the same things alone"

When I'm listening to music that "grabs" me so viscerally and emotionally, when dining alone in a beautiful and out-of-the-way setting, when experiencing the awe and rustic beauty of the Norwegian countryside... I cannot help but feel that enjoyment of such events in isolation from others is unrewarding, and a total waste!

I have to share!

My enjoyment stems solely from in some way contributing to and sharing that joy with significant others. I feel that you are no different...

Let's all work harder to that end!

swimmerguy's picture

About your smile

with the old guy...
I don't think its pathetic that made your day, I do that all the fucking time. Yes, of course, life is a really lonely deal, and the only people to share it with are fellow people, who most of the time, just fucking suck.
And I've had to reconcile a bit that I'm probably not going to have a relationship in high school, and most of my friends don't like to hang out too much, so I've had to learn to take enjoyment in doing interesting activities by myself.

But I love sharing a smile and a greeting with strangers, because with just that little connection to another person makes me so happy, and hopeful that maybe I brightened up their day just a bit too, because even though I might not have liked them if I knew them, we did still have a bit of a thoughtless connection, each of us helping each other just a bit through the day.


elph's picture

To clarify... just a bit

I think what javier likely meant is that it's pathetic that that simple exchange of "good mornings" could likely have been the singular significant bit of human interaction for either of them that entire day...